Princess Rap Battle

[ANNOUNCER] Once upon a time, in a far away land, there was a Princess... Rap Battle! Cinderella versus Belle Let the rap battle begin [CINDERELLA] Another princess in my shadow come to covet my crown? You clowns wanna throw down with the best in a gown? I’m the legendary story of rags to riches Rhymes sharper than a needle and I’m giving out stitches (ha!) Like a wilting rose you can’t step to my flows These girls are trippin’, did they cut off their toes? I deserve all the praise for the foot-fetish craze I’ve got itty-bitty kicks, but legs for days Let’s look at your mentality, Freud loves your abnormality The Stockholm Syndrome Story: Beauty and the Bestiality Of course you’re bitter, I’m the number one star Pumpkin carriage, perfect marriage, no one cares who you are [BELLE] What’s my name? (Belle!) What’s it mean? (Beauty!) I’m the perfect combination of brains and booty While I’m gaining knowledge you’re losing your pumps Like Mrs. Potts I’m serving shots and dishing out lumps Cindy’s dreaming she’s important, well, somebody should wake her This gold-digging trophy wife’s the royal babymaker Fear the nerdy, wordy princess ‘cause I’m throwing more shade Than the willow tree growing on your dead mother’s grave Your tale as old as time sets us back fifty years Do your chores, clean the floors ‘til a man just appears You’re shallow and obsessed with looks and how you’re dressed You wanna live like Gaston? (Hmmm?) Please, be our guest [CINDERELLA] Oh, I’m the one who’s shallow ‘cause your prince was really hairy? The Beast was in the friend zone ‘til he gave you his library Your points have no merit, you’re jealous, declare it Like I’ve always said: if the shoe fits, wear it I’m the American dream with a fairy-tale wedding You’ve got teapots for friends and I think your man’s shedding Some things are meant to be like love at first sight Bibbidi-bobbidi-booyah he was mine before midnight [BELLE] A relationship rookie wants to rap about romance? You can’t fall in love after just one dance My prince saved my life and don’t be misled I want a man in the street but a beast in the bed Your film stars mice and cats with an old, fat fairy Your silly story’s shoehorned into freakin’ “Tom and Jerry” You say you want to party, next you run off down the halls It’s like you always choke once you make it to the balls [CINDERELLA] You think that’s funny? Here’s a history lesson, honey My movie saved the studio when Walt was out of money You followed in my footsteps, without me there’s no you Disney built an empire on these tiny glass shoes [BELLE] If you’re so adored where’s your Academy Award? I’m the smart female heroine that can’t be ignored The moral of our quarrel and why I’ve got you beat It’s what’s inside that matters not the size of your feet [ANNOUNCER] Was that Sarah Michelle Gellar? Gosh, I love her