the Asylum Street Spankers

Peanut, peanut, peanut butter, motherfucker Tune in, dick, you mess around with me You'll get your ass kicked 'Cause you're a big motherfucker Gary has a pussy and James has a pussy and James has a pussy And Mommy has a pussy And Aunt Lil has a little, tiny pussy Xenia, Ohio. A few years ago... a tornado hit this place. lt killed the people, left and right. Dogs died. Cats died. Houses were split open... and you could see necklaces hanging from branches of trees. People's legs and neck bones were sticking out. Oliver found a leg on his roof. A lot of people's fathers died... and were killed by the great tornado. l saw a girl fly through the sky... and l looked up her skirt. Her skull was smashed. And some kids died. My neighbor was killed in that house. He used to ride dirt bikes and three-wheelers. They never found his head. l always thought that was funny. People died in Xenia. Before dad died... he had a bad case of the diabetes. l love my little rooster, and my rooster loves me Gonna cherish that chicken 'neath a green bay tree Little rooster go Cock-a-doodle-doo Doodle-doo doodle-doo And l love my little hen, and my hen, she loves me l'm gonna cherish my hen 'neath a green bay tree Little hen goes cluck cluck Little rooster goes Cock-a-doodle-doo Doodle-doo doodle-doo And l love my little pig hog, and my hoggy loves me l'm gonna cherish that hog 'neath a green bay tree Little hog goes mm-mm, little hen goes cluck cluck Little rooster goes Cock-a-doodle-doo Doodle-doo doodle-doo And l love my little duckling, my duckling loves me l'll cherish my duck 'neath a green bay tree Little duck goes quack quack, little hen goes cluck cluck Little pig goes mm-mm Little rooster goes Cock-a-doodle-doo Doodle-doo doodle-doo And l love my little guinea, and my guinea loves me Gonna cherish my guinea 'neath a green bay tree Little guin' goes pot-er-rak, little duck goes quack quack Little pig goes mm-mm, little hen goes cluck cluck Little rooster goes Cock-a-doodle-doo Doodle-doo doodle-doo And l love my little dog, and my doggy loves me l'm gonna cherish that dog 'neath a green bay tree Little dog goes bowwow, little hen goes cluck cluck Little pig goes mm-mm, little duck goes quack quack Little guinea, pot-er-rak But my rooster goes Cock-a-doodle-doo Doodle-doo doodle-doo Spit it out. You have a lump in your titty. What? You have a big old lump. Tummler sees everything. Some say he's downright evil. He's got what it takes to be a legend. He's got a marvelous persona. You got this one? Don't kill the bitch. lt's a house cat. lt's a lesbian cat. You can tell. Looks like my mom. Know what l'm doing tomorrow? What? Going to an insane asylum. lnsane asylum? Gonna get me a raving beauty. Foot Foot, where you been? You smell like a dookie, girl. Talk to him in school? l don't know. Some hall. He smiled. Don't be such a puss. l try not to. l'm shy. Foot Foot, you stink a bitch. Where'd you find her? On the porch sleeping for three hours. How'd she get out there? -You left the window cracked. -No. -You did. -lt was not me. You know it's always Darby's fault. She's looking a little impregnated. -No. -She is. Let's flip her over and look at her bottom part. Let me look at you, Foot Foot. ls it red? lt's not any red, no. -ls it swollen? -No. An impregnated cat is a bitch. Like, this cat's pregnant. Yeah. Tsk. lt's true. -No, she's not a bitch. -She is, too. She's gotten herself in trouble like this. -She still has nine nips. -Nine nips? Nine lives, too. lf she is pregnant, we'll drown the kittens in the creek. You see? Do it like this. Get it over all the pink-- around it. Do it on it real tight. That tight, it will get infected. Don't tell me. This is the right way. lf you just do little pats, it won't raise it. The whole point is to make it fatter and pop it out bigger. -Tight. -That's tight. -This gonna hurt? -lt's not gonna hurt. We're gonna do it quick. -Ready? -Pull it, Dot, pull it! One, two, three. They look bigger. They look a little bigger. l think they look wider. The nipple's fatter. They look redder, but l think they look much better. Better nipple. Every day lt's a-gettin' closer Goin' faster than a roller coaster Love like yours will Surely come my way A-hey a-hey-hey Every day lt's a-getting closer Goin' faster than a roller coaster Love like yours will Surely come my way A-hey a-hey-hey Every day, lt's a-gettin' closer Goin' faster than a roller coaster Love like yours will surely come my way Hey-hey hey-hey-hey Love like yours Will surely come my way What do you want to do? Wanna keep lookin'? Go by Dean's place... back by the dumpsters? Then let's go get our money. Let's get some milkshakes. Milkshakes? Strawberry milkshake. lf they don't have strawberry, l'll get pineapple. Let's go get our money first. Does your mom ever make you food? -She makes me toast. -ls that it? She cooks me lamb chops. You ever eaten crepe suzette? Spanker had gravy on his vest... gravy on his tie, gravy on his pants... gravy all over him... so he went to his grave with gravy on his vest... gravy on his tie, gravy on his pants... gravy all over him. That dirty old man. These two kids l know... these two brothers... they murdered their parents. They both claim to be raised as Jehovah Witnesses. They came to school in really nice shorts... and polished tennis sneakers... and their shirts were always collared with buttons... and their hair was always slicked back... their teeth were always brushed... and their shirts and pants were always ironed... and their shoes never were scuffed up... or anything like that. They seemed to have a wonderful life. l don't know what went wrong. Why don't you give me them shoes? 'Cause they're new, and l don't give you new shoes. Yeah, fuck that, man. l'm keeping this shit right here. -Sorry. -Yeah. Pissant. -Fuck him up. -Aw, get off me, man. l told you not to hit me in the face. -What's up? -Stop that. Ooh! Damn! Shit. Go, fucker. Let's go. l'm gonna fuck you up. Damn! Shit! Hit a man while he's down. Shit. All right, all right. Oh, fuckin'... Shit, man. Give me them shoes. So, what's for dinner, man? You cooking tonight? l was about four years old the first time... and, um... l remember one time he came home from work real late... and l had been sleeping on the couch... and he came in, and he woke me up... and he laid on top of me... and he told me, he said, ''Take off your panties.'' And l asked him why. He said that he was only playing... and that he wasn't gonna hurt me... and, um, he was gonna make me feel good. And l took off my panties, and then, um... he got on top of me... and he was rubbin' and touchin' and feelin' and laughin'. And then--and then, um... he'd wake up in the morning, and he'd come in my bedroom... or bring me into his bedroom... and he would kiss me and touch me and... and make me play with him and... And, you know, at first, l was real scared. l didn't know if it was right... but he would tell me that we were having fun... and what we were doing wasn't wrong... because he was my dad. You guys didn't get very many this time. Yeah. lt's a scarce count. Let's see. Twelve, twelve and a half. l'll give you thirteen. lt's gettin' crazy, 'cause things are startin' to thin out. You know you guys got some competition out there? -What? Who? -Jarrod. -Who? -Jarrod Wiggley. You know the kid that lives over by the school? The one who takes care of his grandmother? l know that kid. He used to have a sister in my class... but she moved. Her name was June Wiggley. We used to call her June bug. And l noticed something else. The cats that's usually out by the garbage cans... they're not around anymore. And the Chinese restaurant-- you know the one that buys all my stuff? The guy that owns it had a heart attack and died... so l guess they're getting ready to go out of business. l'm pretty smart, if l say so myself. Why is that? This afternoon, we walked into a fruit store... and the clerk thought l was some out-of-town hick. ''Those apples will be two bucks each,'' he tells me. That's where l outsmarted him. l hand over a five... And as he's about to give me a dollar change, l say... ''Keep it. We're even. ''On the way in, l stepped on a grape.'' You want this by the cat or by the pound? Don't matter. l'll give you a dollar a pound, then. Hey, uh... could you hook me up with some glue? What kind you want? Not wood glue. Not cement glue, either. Do you have butcher's model glue, in tins? Yeah. l'm gonna go get it, man. Who was it? Who killed that little baby cat? -Joseph. -Was it? Yeah. lt was ate up with maggots, though. They had to kill it. They're just strays. All these cats around here have twenty babies. Little bitty old black cat. He wasn't about this long. We was trying to figure out how to make it stay away. Couldn't do it. He said, ''Give me a bottle of gasoline.'' He opened its mouth up and poured it full of gasoline. Get that son of a bitch. l ain't never seen that cat since. Lit it. Poured gas down it. Poured gas down it, man, and lit it. l ain't never killed nothin'... just to be killing it, besides that cat. He lit a cat on fire for six hours. Boom ! Boom ! No, l seen somebody put one in a microwave. That motherfucker melted. They got me for a damn BB gun. You shouldn't have pulled it on that girl. l didn't pull it on that girl. You're crazy! You're crazy, man. You're crazy, man. l didn't pull that BB gun out. When l went to jail, they put us in the old juvenile... because the jails were so full. lt was one little room... with a big old silver hard bed on a brick wall. There was eighty-five people in the same cell with us. Worst thing l hate about it was them niggers down there. l--God, boy, hey, mmm. They make me so mad, l just want to tear their head off. l hate the motherfuckers. l just don't like 'em. You got them all. lf you hit one, you get them all. They have ten to every one of you. -They ain't gonna fight fair. -Unless you got nigger buddies. That's it. lf you got some good Latin buddies... l had some good--some good nigger friends at Pearl. Solomon... did your mom find a new house? l saw a house yesterday... near my house. l think it was this lady's. l saw a sign, ''for sale.'' lt had a bullet hole in the mailbox. A hole? A big old hole. l think my brother shot it down when l was younger. l think it was him. He always used to say... Roy Orbison liked to shoot at things. Roy always wore these dark sunglasses. My brother always wore the same kind of sunglasses. He sang that song ''Crying.'' You know that song? What? That song ''Crying.'' Cryin' Over you Cryin' Over you My brother used to sing ''Crying.'' Where is he now? My brother? He's in the big city. He took off in a bus. He was a queer. He's a queer now. Your brother is? Yeah. He dressed like ladies. He wore skirts and lipsticks. He wore stockings, eyeliner. He even has boobs. Girl? Pretty much. Was he pretty? l don't know. l guess so. l guess he was pretty. Pretty enough to have a boyfriend. Cops will frickin' catch your ass. Fuck the cops! l know, man. Cops can kiss my ass. All they are is assholes. l know, man. What's the matter with them? They mad 'cause we get more pussy than they do? Damn you, rabbit! You smell like fuckin' piss! You can kiss my ass! l hate the goddamned rabbit. Fuckin' rabbit! Kill his ass! l don't like rabbits comin' to my fuckin' house. l kill them. l got 'im. -No, you didn't! -Yes, l did! He looks like a queer rabbit! All queer! That fag! He can kiss my ass! Rabbits are queers! They always got to shit on themselves! Ah, those little queer-ass rabbits. Hey, look at these little fag bunny ears. Fuckin' rabbit. l'm sick and tired of it. -This shitty-ass rabbit stinks! -l know. He smells like pussy! He smells like an asshole! Hey, motherfucker! Smells like wetback dick! They smell like a pound of bullshit! ls it dead? l don't know, but l'm gonna make sure. -l wonder if he's dead. -Got some big-ass nostrils. Hate fuckin' rabbits. l wonder if he's got any money. Check his pockets. Don't even got that much meat on him. Got too much grease on my gun. -That rabbit can kiss my ass. -Come on, let's go, man. Who gives a shit about rabbits? A, B, C, D, E, F, G H, l, J, K, L, M, N, O, P Q, R, S, T, U, V W, X, and Y and Z Now l know my ABCs Next time, won't you sing with me? A, B, C, D, E, F, G H, l, J, K, L, M, N, O, P Q, R, S, T, U, V W, X, and Y and Z -Ellen, how you doing? -Hey. What's up with you? You good? He got a haircut. He looks pretty. His thighs are getting stronger. Eddie! Hi, Dot. Hi, Helen. My backhand really sucks. -No, it doesn't. -Yeah, it does. l think your playing looks much better. l got second in the tournament last week. -Really? -Yep. My serve got faster. lncreased by eight percent. l can hit a ball up to sixty-five miles an hour. You got that way from practicin'? No. l got this thing called A.D.D. lt's an attention disorder. lt affects the nervous system. Makes it hard to concentrate. Makes it hard? Makes it hard, 'cause, like... before l knew l had A.D.D... l wouldn't really go for the ball... l wouldn't run the extra mile. Yeah, but it's hard to explain. l take ritalin, this kind of prescription drug. lt's not like a drug that fucks you up. lf anything, it makes you normal. He just likes to go out with skinny girls. -How do you know? -l just know. Who told you? His last girlfriend used to be anorexic. -Was she bulimic? -l don't know. l'll bet she was a bulimic puker... with white spots on her teeth. l don't know. She used to run track after school... and this girl said, ''There goes Eddie's girl.'' And l thought, ''What for? That girl's so skinny.'' -They broke up, right? -Mm-hmm. A while ago. -Skin and bones. -Mm-hmm. She was so skinny... she had to wear rubber bands around the tops of her socks... and a belt around her spandex bike shorts to keep them up. -No, she didn't. -Uh-huh. Kids in school used to laugh so hard. Sure. lt's crazy, so crazy. Guess l'm not skinny enough for him, then. -You are. -No. Uh-huh. At least if he goes out with you... you'll know he got good taste. -We'll see. -Mm-hmm. We'll see if it happens, is what we'll see. l was born right here in Xenia, Ohio... to a lesbian midwife... who cut all her hair like a butch. And when l was little, she used to have stre-- My mom used to have stretch marks... that went around in circles. But l used to roll marbles on her stomach-- my mom's stomach--and when l would hit the navel... she'd give me five dollars. When l'd hit the navel, she'd give me five dollars. When l would hit the side of her arm... she would fuckin' hit me, man... with a--a fuckin'... a--a--a hairbrush... or she would beat me... l had a lesbian midwife who gave birth to my mother... while l was born through my mother's womb. My mother, when she was thirty years old... she entered menopause. She sprouted a fuckin' mustache. She lost her sex drive. Everything in the house started to change. The way she would do the dishes would change... or the way she would clean the cabinets... out of the house would change. OK, so my sister, she gets a complex. She starts thinking, because my mother has menopause... at such an earlier-- at such an early age... that she's gonna lose all her sex drive... and then her mustache is gonna come out like my mom's mustache. l can't shoot ball like Michael Jordan can... but that's all right, though, you know? l'm also gay. Don't be nervous. l ain't being nervous. Now, there's something special about you. Something special l want. Will you kiss me? You're not gay. lt's all right. My mother rejected me, my father rejected me. There was no love in the household. l was beaten, l was abused. l had people stick shit up my rectum. Will you hug me? Just hug me. -l'll give you a hug, man. -Just hug me. Seriously, just calm down, just hug me. Just give me some warmth. Just hug. Just hug me for a little bit, because l'm so lonely. l'm so--l've got no one. There's no one left. l've got no one left. l've got no one to love me anymore. l'll die here on this couch with you. My father worked the late shift as a bathroom attendant. My father was mugged on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. For the rest of his days on earth... my father never celebrated this holiday. -With my sister. -With your sister? Wait till her husband finds out. Oh, shit, don't do nothing about it. You'll come up dead, laying in a ditch. Yeah, you did, you liar. No, l didn't. l never hit it. Well, shoot, you never know about that. You Jarrod Wiggley? You know Huntz? He told me some stuff about you. What did he say? He said you'd been killing cats. For, like, the past three weeks. When do you go out? Do it during the day usually? No. l do it mostly at night. You shoot 'em? No. l put glass in tuna fish. But mostly, l sprinkle poison around the dumpsters... like in the corners... or around back behind the church over there. Huntz said you take care of your granny. Yeah. She's sick. How old is she? She's, like, l don't know, probably ninety or ninety-one. -Do you bathe her? -Yeah. l have to scrub her off with a big sponge. Do you have to change her diaper? Yeah. l hate that shit. l hate all that shit. Does she speak to herself? No. She don't speak anymore. She's catatonic. She used to speak to herself. She'd watch game shows... and yell out stuff to herself all the time. She used to throw darts, right? Yeah. She used to have a dartboard. So now you just take care of your granny? You kill cats, too? l'm sick of everything. l can't understand what the fuck is wrong with people... in this world. They sit around. They don't know what the fuck is going on. -They're stupid. -Fuck, they're ignorant. They're--they're fuckers. l fuckin' hate myself. They--they--they... sit there in their pretend little lives... in their homes... Hold on. Cassidey. What's up, man? -How you doin'? -Good. You? Yeah, good. You guys ride your bikes over here? You bring me-- You brought my money? -Yeah. Right here. -Good. Come on, let's go in the house. Come on. Man. l got to tell you, she had a migraine headache... earlier today. She almost wanted to call the whole thing off, OK? But l gave her-- l gave her some aspirin. Cool. Hey, thanks a lot. -l'm gonna go fuck her now. -Wait. You want to fuck her? Are you gonna fuck her, too? All right, you got to hold on. Hey, Cassidey. Hey, put on that bathrobe thing. Hey, put that on. All right. She's ready. -You ready? -Yeah. OK, you got to keep the light on. All right. You all right? You good? You ready? All right, come on. Hi, Solly. Are you clean? Did you use soap? Let me smell your wrist. Smells good. -How does it smell like? -Like fruit, like cherries. My mom gives me cherry shampoo. l like cherries. l put cherries on my ice cream. l like the name of cherry. Cherries. You got hands like a girl. No, l don't. Yes, you do. Can l read your fortune? This big line says you're gonna be a millionaire. lt says your-- lt says your wife will die in a hay fire. But l don't have a wife. You will, but it ain't gonna be me. -Do you love me? -Yes. Do you think l'm attractive? No. You look fine the way you are--skinny. When l sit down to eat, l get sexy! When l go to bed, l get hungry! l saw a man lying in the street, and l said, ''Can l help you?'' He said, ''No. l just found a parking space. ''Now l sent my wife to go buy a car!'' lt's just murder what's going on with people these days. Just the other day, right here in Xenia, Ohio... a man walked up to me and said, ''l haven't eaten in 3 days.'' l said, ''Force yourself!'' Another man walked up to me and said... ''l haven't eaten in a week!'' l said, ''Don't worry. lt tastes the same!'' All right! We're rolling! l love this crowd! Peoples got to work for a livin'. l believe in a blue-collar race. l think suicide's the only way out--out of life. l wanted to die. l tried to die, but l didn't. They say it's my depression, but what the fuck, man? l don't fuckin' know anymore. Which way should l fuckin' turn, man? Shut up! -l hate that dog. -l hate it, too. lt's mean and ugly. lt's got two sets of teeth, like a shark. That's why Roy calls it Sharky. Yeah. The other day l saw it eating a turkey bone. l swear it looked like it was choking on the bone. l wish it would choke and shut up. Yeah. l was gonna go tell Miss Barry, but-- After the last time? After last time, l didn't even want to get near her front door. ''You kids get out of my front yard... ''or l'm calling the police!'' -You want sparkles? -Hell, no. You don't want sparkles? l want sparkles, Darb. You can do my toes. OK. When l'm done with hers. Don't rush her. You're getting better, Darb. This woman and this man, they was married. Was real good friends until another woman came along. Now they're lesbians. Disgusting--two women biting at each other... if you get my drift. l think that--that's nasty. Man, l get the chills. l'm a party boy. Not only that... you'll be--be pickin' up women in your pickup, man. Yeah. My pickup, man. Yeah. That's the way l am. Turn fifteen, l'm partyin'. Without wood, there'd be no America. No ships to bring the pilgrims across the ocean. No log cabins, no schoolhouses... no churches, no covered wagons... no railroad ties... no cigar store indians... no nothin'. Solomon, are you down there? What are you doing lifting weights? -l'm lifting. -You'll stunt your growth. You're gonna get peg leg shoulders... and pinched neck nerves. lt's not good to lift while you're growing. l can see your shoulder popping out. Look at the way it raises and gets smaller... raises and gets smaller. You're gonna pop out a joint. That's not healthy. Look at it. lt's gonna pop. Your dad's old taps. He used to be good. He said he was blessed with the gift of tap. Took up tapping when he got his bald spot. He wanted to get transplants... but l thought that was a bit drastic. Told him if he wanted to, he should take up tap. He put up the mirror. He said if Marlene Dietrich could see him dance... she would fall in love. What do you want with Marlene Dietrich? She had her bottom ribs surgically removed... so she'd have more of an hourglass figure. Don't you know stars are flawed? Will you smile? Come on, l want a smile. Tuck in that tummy. One smile. Come on. l'm gonna tickle you till you smile. Flatten that tummy. Hold your shoulders in. Do you miss your dad? l do. Come on, hold that tummy in. Come on, can you smile for me, please? OK, you son of a bitch... if you don't smile, l'm gonna kill you, OK? l've killed before, and l will kill again. l will pick up your brains all over the floor. You came out of my womb... and l'll stick you right back in my womb. lf you don't smile, l'm going to kill you. Yeah, party. Break dance. l have a good personality. l have blond hair, blue eyes. l'm a hundred and thirty-five pounds... and l'm 4' 10 1/2. l have very light skin. l am considered what you would call an albino. l like men that are very sensitive... that will sit down and watch a good movie with me... won't hit on me... will love me for me. l like men that either have blond hair, blue eyes... or... black or brown hair. Actually, the eyes, it really doesn't matter. My favorite movie stars are... Pamela Anderson and Patrick Swayze. Patrick Swayze is sexy. He's good-lookin'. l love that man to death. l would pay money to touch him. When l was born... l was born without any toes on my feet at all. l would pick things up with the balls of my feet... instead of my toes. l had trouble walking on my feet. Clifford Dumkin is the fat cocaine addict... who lives down by my house. He's into wife-swapping and sex parties. He gives girls cocaine, and he fucks them... in front of different kids in the neighborhood. Every time l see him... he's got cocaine all over his mustache. -Watch her eyes. -l want a mustache, damn it! -Get her underbelly. -Her underbooty. -Get her nipples. -l want a mustache! lt's OK, Foot Foot. l want to look like Burt Reynolds! l want a mustache, damn it! Oh, baby, it's OK. -Gotta calm down. -l want a mustache, damn it! Get down! No! Get down now! Do you still miss her? Yeah. There's not a day goes by that l don't miss her. Sure seems that way sometimes. Yeah. Yeah, it does. Do you think she looked a little like me? Yeah, she looked a little bit like you. She's in heaven now. Yeah, she's in heaven now. What was she like? Oh, she's--Brown hair. She drinked, you know, a little bit... but she was a good person. She was real nice, she was. When l was a kid, l remember growin' up. There was this man that raised me. His wife walked around in her underclothes... and he'd always tell us... all us boys that worked for him-- you know, when you'd come in... she'd be walking around getting ready for work-- told us not to bug her. They always warned us, you know, don't-- you can look, but don't touch. lt was hard to do... when there was something tempting in front of you... as pretty and good-lookin' as she was... you know and everything. But you got to respect somebody else's wife... in other words. His dad never gave a crap. Not even at the end of his game. lt was scary to see him despondent like that. His dad didn't care for mom much, either... or the little doggie. He started going to church... and he started listening to the gospels. lt was expected when he robbed the neighbors. He took their wine... and he took some rings and fine jewelry. l think he got a fur coat as well. When he had a kid... he didn't think to watch his ways. He felt the same as his daddy. Come on, put it back up. -Let's go! -Come on, man! Go! Go, God damn it! -Fuckin' get it! -Put it up! -Let's go. -Tell me when you're ready. Get that motherfucker. On your marks, set, go. Get him, God damn it, go! Fuck him up, Tummy! Get it, boy! Get it, goddamn! Don't be afeared! -Got beat, didn't ya? -Hell, yeah! Shit! Don't you know it's a sin to get beat by your son? Shoop, shoop, shoop He got beat, he got beat He got beat by his own son He got beat, he got beat He got beat by his own son He got beat, he got beat He got beat by Tummy He got beat, he got beat by mummy -Who's next? -Who's next? How about the girls? You two wrestle-- have an arm wrestle. -Come on. Get it goin'. -Get it on! Let's see what we got. You sit there and there. All right, let's see it. Do they even know how to arm wrestle? Now, are you guys ready? You guys ready? On your mark-- No holdin' the table. Hand up in the air. Get steady... -Are you ready? -No, not really. You ready? -Ready. -You ready? Go! -Come on! -Come on! Go, God damn it! Yeah! There. God! Get beat like that, that's awful. lt's all right. lt's all right. -l take pride-- -l tried. She did her bit. She tried. You gave it all. Any more fucking beer? -That's it. -Fuck. Man, fuck all this bullshit. l can piss in this bottle, fill it back up. -Fuck that. -Have to go for a beer run. -Who's next? -The big man, little man! Let's get it. Come on. That's what l want to see. Let's go, buddy. Show him what you got, man. Fuck him up. -Come on! -Ready? Go! Come on! Get it! Get it! -Go! Go! -Come on! You got it! Come on! Get him ! Fuck this shit! Damn! Fuck this shit, man! Did the little man get you, buddy? -Motherfucker. -You should be ashamed. Fuck all y'all motherfuckers. Loser. You can lose with pride, though, man, shit. Little fuck can break our assholes anyway. Not true, motherfucker. Aren't you a little girly from Salt Lake City? Two-quart legs and two rubber titties. Two-quart legs and two rubber titties... She loves electricity, but she burns off gas. Got a V-8 pussy and a cadillac ass. That little girl from Salt Lake City... two-quart legs and two rubber titties. Loves electricity, but she burns off gas. Got a V-8 pussy and a cadillac ass. Get in there! Don't let him get on you, man! Get him out! Come on! Come on, man, get him down! Fuck him up! Come on! Get him ! Come on! Don't let him fuck with you like that! He ain't got no damn business fucking with you. -Goddamn! -Kill him ! Break him down! Get him down and beat the fucking hell out of him ! -Come on! -Stomp his head! -Stomp his ass! -Hit him one more time. -Fuck him up. -Get him ! There you go! Goddamn, dig his fucking grave, man! Come on! Teach that motherfucker. There you go! Hit him in the head! Smash his brains! Look at that. -Ain't no ambulance. -Oh, well. Spit on him. Life's a bitch, and then you die. There you go. lt's a cat trap. l want it high. The doctor said they're gonna have to take off... one of my boobies... and l know what happens when they do that. Boys'll stop looking at me... and once, when l finally meet a guy... that likes me, and he sees my scar... he'll just stop talking to me for no reason. Boys are like that. Dear world... l have confusion around me in every direction from my brain. l've tried and tried to make it here in this fucking world... but l think it was a mistake that l was ever born. l do not feel guilty about taking my own life. l've tried your ways. l've had a job since l was thirteen years old. Making a living was never a real problem for me. The problem was all l see is misery and darkness. Die, die, die. l'll put a gun to my fucking head right now. l'm so pissed l could kill you, but l'm not going to. Life is beautiful. Really it is. Full of beauty and illusions. Life is great. Without it, you'd be dead. l think one of the reasons she didn't struggle so much... is l said, ''You're a black witch. ''We're giving you the greatest honor... ''to sit at the right hand of Arioch in hell.'' Jarrod ain't here. Go like that. He's got a gay one. Come on. ls she dead? She's alive on that machine. She stinks. Her life is over. She smells like baked ham. Bet she could live like this forever. Do you think she'll ever wake up? Hell, no. She's dead as hell. Go over and shoot her in the foot. Why? Try and wake her up. Shoot her in the foot. l told you she's dead. Could live forever on one of these gadgets. She'll be dead now. She's always been dead. She's been gone a long time. She sure stinks. French fries, sittin' on a bench May l, want l, fifteen cents You miss, you miss You miss like this This is my baby... and l breast-feed it. l'm its mother. l... l love my babies. l love... to handle babies... because l love my babies. And l kiss them on their head-- on their bald head. And l rub its head. l love it... and l hug it... then l kiss it, then l rub it. l rub its head. Sometimes, though, l do something. l do it. My mom tells me, ''Do something,'' then l do it. And l do it and do it. l clean house. l sweep the floor. ''Get in there and mop that floor up.'' l get in here and mop the floor up. Whether it's water or whether it's not water... l clean it up. And then when l cleaned it up... l had it all straightened up, even my dolls and all-- straightened up. Now l always keep my toys... because l take care of them. And l always do, and l always do take care of them. And then, when l went to a store... l came back, and l got in a hurry behind the car... and l broke a--a spaghetti sauce. And when l did, l got in trouble for it. And then, l didn't break it... but this always happens. And then l turned around and looked... and l said, ''Laurel, you going to have to pray. ''No, you got to pray.'' And she said, ''Pray about what?'' And l said, ''You going to have to pray.'' You do have to pray... white or black or whatever. Some people came by here. We're going to have a lot of people here today. So we had to get up this morning... and we did. Here it goes. Ooh, boy. l'm getting that stuff in my hair. Well, well, well. Here l go. OK--in my hair. Miss? Miss, we've lost our cat, and its name is Foot Foot. lt's black, and it's got green eyes. -What? -We lost our cat. What do you want me to do? Well, if you see it, could you call us? -We live right over here. -All right. Short black hair, kind of big. l don't live here in this town. But if--l will. l sure will. l haven't seen one, but l'll-- Please keep an eye out. lt's bad to lose one. l know mine went off one time, but it come back. -l hope so. -Now l don't have one. -lt died, you know. -Oh, sorry. Black with green eyes. -Foot Foot? -Yeah. Foot Foot. Where'd you all lose him at? lf l see one, l'll come back and tell you. The number's on the flyer. You can just call our number. -Yeah. All right. -Ask for Helen, Dot, or Darby. All right. Those people are deaf. l'll bet she's cussing him out. You want mayonnaise, Darb? -You don't? -No. ls this your cat? Freddie Prinze was my brother. Do you know of him? He was on that television series called ''Chico and the Man.'' Did you ever hear of that? He was an actor. What do you do? l'm a gossip writer for a newspaper. -Gossip? -You know gossip? lt's like... Tupac Shakur stuttered. Warren Oates swallowed his chewing tobacco spittle. Placido Domingo loves sherbet ice cream. Adolf Hitler had one testicle. P.T. Barnum had an ulcer the size of a small oyster. Henry Winkler is allergic to papaya. Satchel Paige shot heroin down in Cuba. Dr. Robert Oppenheimer drank denatured alcohol. That's gossip. And that's what you get paid for doing? l get paid for writing rumor. How much further is it to where you saw Foot Foot? lt's right nearby here. lt's right around here. Where? Well, l'm not sure exactly, but is there a map? There's a map in the glove box or here somewhere. Maybe it's under the seat down there. Let me...let me see if l can reach it. -l don't see no map around. -Maybe l can... What are you doing? Why'd you try and touch her kootchy? -l didn't do anything. -Pervert! -Now, come on. -Get out of here! Don't touch her kootchy! Come on. Just give me a little. Let go of her! -Get off! -Fucking pervert! Stop! Just give me some. That's all. -Let go of her, motherfucker! -You're hos anyway. lt's no big deal. lt's nothing new for trash like you. Kiss my ass, fucker! Motherfucker! Don't touch my sister! Nothing new for trash like you. Fuck you! Baby. Fucking asshole! ldiot! l knew a guy who was dyslexic... but he was also cross-eyed... so everything came out right. Spaghetti. Hand me the shampoo. That's the conditioner. Hand me the other bottle. Hi, my name is Terry. This is my brother Phelipo. Hi, ma'am. Would you be interested in purchasing a crunch bar? -How much? -A dollar. The money goes for children with cancer. Also, it's for Hodgkin's disease. -Thanks. -OK. Have a nice day. Some dessert? Man, we be making all this money. Yeah. All the hos like this. Yeah. Buy the teachers, too... so l wouldn't have to go to school no more. Tease people, too. Yeah. Make them my friend, then l tease them with the money. They'll be my friends more often also. Yeah. We can have all this. We can be rich. We'll be going around teasing women and stuff. Yeah. Selling candy, getting money. Just selling candy, getting money... and making the greenbacks. l was all right For awhile l could smile For awhile But l saw you last night You held my hand so tight As you stopped To say hello Oh, you wished me well You couldn't tell That l'd been Crying Over you Crying Over you And you Said so long Left me standing All alone Alone and crying Crying Crying Crying lt's hard to understand But the touch Of your hand Can start me crying l thought that l Was over you But it's true So true l love you even more Than l did before But, darling, what can l do? For you don't Love me And l'll always be Crying Over you Crying Over you Yes Now you're gone And from this moment on l'll be crying Crying Crying Crying Yeah, crying Crying Over You Yes, Jesus loves me For the bible tells me so Dial it now. lt's a bad dime.