Falling In & Out Of Love

Smoldering... I know it's bad for you... But, this is when I wish, I had a cigarette- something I've never tried- (light up) some kind of relief.. I wish it was Italy 40 years ago-- The moon rising over the Amphitheater-- to tremendous applause... like Herzog (clap) Europeans don't seem to care about silly smoking laws?, We do what we want anyway - behind closed doors-- Our true character, collective complexities. childish activities - patterns- genetics? Attention deficit- - ...SEX ... a lost art-- a sickness-- Perversions- Lost sensuality - The cruel smell of orange blossoms... I love being in love– but expectations, make it impossible to be happy- or satisfied… I've tried… so hard.. maybe it's not in fashion– Tradition…just seemed so romantic…, I guess it's a used up ideal – for the old fashion… not modern… Female security… lost- no way– Coded, and loaded Cell phones, Computers — Ordering sex on line- is like ordering a book on Amazon– and … snooping eats you alive– A mirrored action. obsessive love… unhealthy, hopeless- knocked sideways– There is always this feeling - of discontent– Like something is off… I can't put my finger on why– Who wants to be the Warden– I want out of here– out of this time – in space– Grey, muted crystals, from unsavory places- bad intentions, dull- no fire-- a secret life - Laying in my hotel bed-- pulling up my stockings- carefully re-attaching to the garter- , The cuban heel- the line (right on course) the works... Feeling a little guilty- I started to fantasize-- Il Postino, Pablo Neruda- Should I go to Capri--? So frustrated-- burning... questions... No man knows what to do with me-- I blame myself-- To play with me, is eternal-- I'm not 'on the clock' or… on the 'payroll'– rrrr– I had to get out of the room- The velvet stuff and porcelain things closing in on me– What have I done...? I knew it was wrong from the start-- primitive-- base instinct.. Never marry a rich man... Euros from a Vagabond.. Just start walking - (Like Jeanne Moreau and Miles Davis) Never look back- There is only beauty ahead, Salvation.. Glory Rushing... I almost forgot where I was-- shit-- My white Burberry trench - - on the floor? A Parkay floor… (Narration by a deep voiced sexy black guy) BG- She stopped to admire it's clever design, ME- "So pretty" BG wrapped herself up— She snuck out the door with a quiet click, and Seamlessly, floating down the hall- (on wire) Her Tom Ford feet didn't touch the ground– Falling gracelessly into an elevator playing Nat King Cole's …. Stardust? (remembering the movie) ME- "Fallen Angel?" BG Nobody was up yet- out into the cool world she goes, ME-"Freedom… I can breathe…" BG- looking for a little human contact? Playful seduction? … ME- "I'm so Hungry…" BG- Her heart was racing— It was barely dawn — Bathed in perfect light- magic hour– — ME- "Everyone looks good this early" BG- Even cats and hummingbirds Was anyone watching her.. She gazed up into dark windows… to nobody… and let the jacket fall loosely around her shoulders… The rush coming back- … a little lost on purpose, Hiding around corners, ME- so dangerous- my body is on fire…. my body is never done– trouble finds me– please find me- The iron is always hot!" BG- She Leaned against the cool wall of a stoney church- It felt good, soothing- ME- I wonder how prostitution works- Does it ever feel good? Lost little souls - being taken advantage of-- or taking advantage of- Is it just for money? Is it for attention? or --- both-- Women suffer- - Everywhere... rules, rules, rules-- conflicting needs.. I can't find the answers-- It's an epidemic-- I know I won't compete with a computer-- or - a gaggle of hollywood boys hiring poor Russian girls to swallow loaves of bread up their anus'?- How does that work?" BG- She was disturbed-- How far can she take this?-- Is it even real?-- ME- "Have we lost men to thin air--- to the Abyss-- to technology and lube- Flesh is attached to a heart and a brain- takes effort...and skill... Where are the great lovers?-- A lost art... God , I hope not... I've never been to Columbia-- Should I go?- I really want to go! Is this Hysteria?… Objectification? now– Coming down from the ceiling, dripping in gold glitter– Dancing with Nureyev- eyes closed— the dream… arousing my tenderness, A sweet rawness- feeling bruised and scratched up– Hypnotic - Life is sensual– not a "fix it in post"– ME- I miss PLAYBOY- The End of an Era– Chivalry, elegance- Celebrated imperfections - differences… hot—passionate dreamy scenes… The girl next door– shyness– "it's my first time" but - not my last….(wink) – I'm planning a mysterious coup– Want to get in on it– Julian Assange? Is it healthy, to be fantasied about… by many men –? Isn't that the goal- How many can we effect– It's natural– to want to be desired– The world creeps up on you– and there you are, ALL over the place- places you never intended to be– (desert storm?) (soldiers) I am human you know– left to adjust to the madness- No mercy- pay the price– my fault- BG- feeling empty, sad– withdrawn- Left to Isolate– Medicate. Go to sleep– ME-NO! I wont- - ME- You know- It's not freaky enough, to just be beautiful– I've never felt beautiful- I always felt sexual… and blind.. oh wowwy… I'm losing my mind– I'm shutting down– It's such a strange feeling… going numb… in front of everyone—- It's like a Self inflicted drowning…hard to do– (Alarm bells!!)— When did I want to be this thing?– To attract what? When did I go from a curious little girl, to an insatiable woman? Girl on the run… Femme fatale… devoted and ….divided. Are we all going crazy? - or, is it just me? Is it that stuff on unwashed vegetables? When did I lose control over my own heart?– When did I start believing , That this is all I'm good for- against my better judgement– fell for it- dammit- it all backfired– It doesn't feel good to be used, neglected, ignored— controlled…. I'm not doing this— It's humiliating - I have to turn this around– Settling is powerless- desperate– an illusion– Can't buy your way out of this one …buddy!!, I'm cold- (She can't stop laughing..) Reminds me of a play I wrote -- That one about The Hell's Angels, starring - Steve Queen and Brigitte Bardot-- The Entr' Acte.... ** A car chase- She is going on and on (in french) and He's just trying to have his way with her- everything is double entree' Funny/Sexy-(subtitles projected) They've stolen billions in diamonds - she's dripping from head to toe... in a sparkly madness of laughter--- 60's Porsche?- (or that GT/Bullit car) All in a Car - bouncing and swerving-- lights- facing the audience-- (with BW projections from the 60's behind them--)... They fall in love-- They fall apart--- I'm not sure what the The Hells Angels have to do with it-- but they stay in the title--- The End.... VEGAS 2014... limited engagement-- Copywritten Pamela Anderson-- (all rights reserved)- written July 1, 2014 by, Pamela Anderson