Joe's garage

[Liner Note 1] A boring old garage in a residential area with a teen-age band rehearsing in it. JOE (the main character in the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER'S Special Presentation) sings to us of the trials and tribulations of garage-band husbandry... [Intro: Central Scrutinizer & Joe] We take you now, to a garage, in Canoga Park... (It makes its own sauce...) [Verse 1: Joe] It wasn't very large There was just enough room to cram the drums In the corner over by the Dodge It was a fifty-four With a mashed up door And a cheesy little amp With a sign on the front said "Fender Champ" And a second hand guitar It was a Stratocaster with a whammy bar [Liner Note 2] At this point, LARRY (a guy who will eventually give up music and earn a respectable living as a roadie for a group called Toad-O) joins in the song... [Chorus: Larry] We could jam in Joe's Garage His mama was screamin' His dad was mad We was playin' the same old song In the afternoon 'n' sometimes we would Play it all night long It was all we knew, 'n' easy too So we wouldn't get it wrong All we did was bend the string like... [Verse 2: Larry] Hey! Down in Joe's Garage We didn't have no dope or LSD But a coupla quarts'a beer Would fix it so the intonation Would not offend your ear And the same old chords goin' over 'n' over Became a symphony We would play it again 'n' again 'n' again Cause it sounded good to me One more time! [Chorus: Larry] We could jam in Joe's Garage His mama was screaming "Turn it down!" We was playing' the same old song In the afternoon 'n' sometimes we would Play it all night long It was all we knew, and easy too So we wouldn't get it wrong Even if you played it on the saxophone [Verse 3: Larry & Liner Note 3] We thought we was pretty good We talked about keepin' the band together 'N' we figured that we should Cause about this time we was gettin' the eye From the girls in the neighborhood They'd all come over 'n' dance around Like... (Twenty teen-age girls dash In and go STOMP-CLAP STOMP-CLAP-CLAP...) So we picked out a stupid name Had some cards printed up for a couple 'a bucks 'N' we was on our way to fame Got matching suits 'N' Beatle Boots 'N' a sign on the back of the car 'N' we was ready to work in a Go-Go bar [Bridge] One, two, three, four Let's see if you got some more! [Verse 4: Larry & Joe] People seemed to like our song They got up 'n' danced 'n' made a lotta noise An' it wasn't 'fore very long A guy from a company we can't name Said we ought'a take his pen 'N' sign on the line for a real good time But he didn't tell us when These "good times" would be somethin' That was really happenin' So the band broke up An' it looks like We will never play again Guess you only get one chance in life To play a song that goes like... [Liner Note 4] *And, as the band plays their little song MRS. BORG (who keeps her son SY In the closet with the vacuum cleaner) Screams out the window...* [Bridge: Mrs. Borg] Turn it down! Turn it DOWN! I have children sleeping here... Don't you boys know any nice songs? [Verse 5: Joe] Well the years was rollin' by, yeah Heavy Metal 'n' Glitter Rock Had caught the public eye, yeah Snotty boys with lipstick on Was really flyin' high, yeah 'N' then they got that Disco thing 'N' New Wave came along 'N' all of a sudden I thought the time Had come for that old song We used to play in "Joe's Garage" And if I am not wrong You will soon be dancin' to the- [Bridge: Central Scrutinizer] The White Zone is for loading and unloading only If you gotta load or unload, go to the White Zone [Outro: Joe, Mrs. Borg & Officer Butzis] Well the years was rollin' by The years were rollin' by (I'm calling the police!) The years were rollin' by The years were rollin' by (I did it! They'll be here, shortly!) The years were rollin' by (This is the police...) (I'm not joking around anymore!) The years was rollin' by (We have the garage surrounded) (Give yourself up) (We will not harm you, or hurt you neither) The years were rollin' by You'll see them, there they are, they're coming!) (This is the police) The years were rollin' by (Give yourself up) (We will not harm you) (Listen to that mess, would you?) (This is the police, give yourself up) (We have the garage surrounded!) (Everyday this goes on around here!) The years were rollin' by (We will not harm you, or maim you) The years were rollin' by (SWAT Team 4, move in!) (He used to cut my grass! He was a very nice boy!) (This is the police, come out with your hands up!) (That's disgusting...) [Outro: Central Scrutinizer] This is the Central Scrutinizer... That was Joe's first confrontation with "The Law"... Naturally, we were easy on him One of our friendly counsellors gave him a donut And told him to stick closer To church-oriented social activities...