Bubble Bum
M.C. Milosh
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[Intro] – Ayo, introduce yourself – Slava KPSS – Yeeea. Slavik, what's up with this interesting merch of yours? – That's Antihype merch. You're gonna see the fall of Tower of Babel, like on Bruegel's painting. I've got 56 types of weed in me, just like in my yeger's flask. Yeeeeah man – Strange question, but what's your opponent's name? – Tick-tock-boom, tiki-tiki-ti-punk, steampunk, bitch! That's how we're gonna call him – Thoughts on this event? Your opinion on the battle of different battle leagues? Predictions on the result? – My only prediction is 4:0, like in the match between SKA-Energia and Spartak that's gonna happen soon, it's gonna be kinda same. Damn, it's SKA-Khabarovsk now, sorry – Aight, guess you gotta chill a bit. Good luck on the battle! – Antihype! – Salute! Introduce yourself – My name is Miron – Who's your opponent? – My opponent is my old dickrider – Why did you decide to accept to battle with him? – Well, I didn't accept it, I invited him. He's a true battle MC, I never battled against those. They're people who can't really write songs, they're always battling, so they become sort of local gods, so I'm interested, just for the sport of it, to see how I'll perform against him – You're a successful man, why do you need battles? – I'm doing it just for the sport of it, as I said. I started with battles, I'm not stopping any time soon. Just to prove to myself, another check mark, another check mark. Or no check mark, I'm ready for whatever – How does it feel to battle on behalf of Versus? Today is the battle between two battle leagues and we came here to fuck those guys from Slovo up – Yep – How do you feel? – I'm ready for this – Well, good luck then – Oxxxy tour dot com [Round 1: Oxxxymiron] I'm here just for fun, really, just to mock a weak one You crawled out of your mother while my Baban diss was playing in background Accusatory pathos is zilch against the father Those rhymes were written by drunk and high Kripl You're funny, way too tall, and you're honestly clumsy Your body reminds me of a pregnant heron Unproportional, like your hype and your contribution into rap Not A Cloud in Trousers, you're just a trend, like cloud rap Here only for couple seasons. Where's your choker? Why? You don't wanna go out of vogue, like Volchok clothes The person who pushed you forward a year ago with just one tweet Now will flush you away in the toilet What an Irony of Fate, fascinating, isn't it? Before battling someone, I have to praise him To prove all of you that he can be the victor Before crushing an MC, you have to love him in the beginning I did great I knew that Gotham needed a Joker Who's against me. Full moon rising The town cheers for him, a new character in the deck But I'm the director myself, I created you, I filmed you I'm Bruce Wayne and Christopher Nolan together All roles are prepared already, yours is written from the beginning to the end I needed an enemy? Voila! You're a theatrical villain, your mustache fell off Yeah, you're a Joker, but up my sleeve. Shave your ace And get ready, Arkham gives you a free lodging And my dick knows what's up with all these cuts you have [Slava KPSS interrupts him] I agree I'm the master of promotion You found the casting and started pulling off your underwear: – Are you really the producer? – Yes, I really am I'll make you, son. You're my anal slave Call me Fadeev Maxim That's a fat promotion I'm taking you off a cage by pulling the strings How does it feel when you know that you're a marionette in the Jew's hands? You hyped for a year using my name Okay, I don't mind the hype It's just sad that you're a miserable lackey Couldn't go up yourself, still a nobody at the bottom Your "fans" are angry that I don't release a new mixtape Your eyes tell me that you wrote text for this battle back in December Because the school of Slovo... [Restorator screams] IS THE WEAKEST LEAGUE IN THE COUNTRY Yeah, we're about SlovoSPB. You got owned by RBL I'd get bodied by Zabe, Teeraps, and Piem, if they tried But the rest, all of you are mediocrities 30 weeks for the text, and then fake, pretend you just started writing Been writing it in December, January, February, March, April May, June, July. And thought, the text is ok, Tech N9ne, boo! I wrote mine in a week, plus-minus two days I'm afraid of you 30 times less than you're afraid of me But don't be afraid. What do you have at stake, Olimpiyskiy? Dozens of paid Petersburg people, who all depend on the battle Who'll lose everything in case of a loss? But an MC should be ashamed if he's been preparing for months Memorized your lines? Good job! [Slava KPSS replies] Nope The person frazzled by Ramzan [Slava KPSS shouts] Bodybag! [Oxxxymiron repeats] Bodybag! When I invited him to battle, he was all about those ideals But in a year you lost your way, Slava What can a person, who repeated every mistake after me, in just one year, really tell me? I'm nine years in this game, you're just helping me, slug You, like myself, have changed? But the sales are still the same You, like myself, have apologized? But no one even hit you! Real talk, real talk [Slava KPSS shouts] Isn't it fucking wonderful, guys? You, like myself, became a businessman, but still sound like a commissioner You, like myself, were against that rap herd, but still recording with all of them We're all hypocrites, because we change every day What once was true, may change one day, perhaps even completely But your worldview changed in a record time! Bam! And you're on the stage Bam! And you're recording with LSP Bam! And you're releasing cheap clothes at Vitya SD's The Flow is writing reviews, all good and real But in a year underground cat became exactly what he had rebuked And your idea, bled like Lyalya You're throwing stones while sitting in a glass house Was in the basement, but the attic got flooded Searching for walls by running From Castle to Castle But you build them on sand And your showy kindergarten in your secondhand lyrics Is obvious to everyone, believe me, it was boring to write a text against you Even Johnyboy was more of a true guy, in comparison with you Together, you should open a hookah-barber-sushi-smoothie-vape bar Antihype? That's Vagabund, that's Vagabund For people in backwoods who use Windows 3 with a dial up modem, while not knowing how to enable cookies "We need more members", Booker taught you this way You need to open an escort agency "Booking muzhchin" And it's all giggles, but the truth hurts He'll talk a lot, but he can't say much You can dig up all the dirt and my dead friends Can wash all my bones, along with dirty linen, cook your black kisel Can find out with whom, how many times, and in what poses I had sex But if you do this, you're done, too Look, he has a girlfriend called Sasha Discotheque [Slava KPSS interrupts him] Not anymore, man, you're too late [Oxxymiron replies] It doesn't matter Imagine how many punchlines about her I could come up with! Or about ST's wife, it's so cute But I came here to battle you, not her Not your parents, not your mother's bank account Not your promiscuous sexual behavior, Fallen doesn't count (here he is!) Fallen doesn't count [Slava KPSS shouts] Fallen! Fallen MC! And he, who uses rumors about relatives, just shows who's the father on this arena Think about it, lad, all you'll see is you getting promoted in MDK How many millions I made last year – that's what Forbes and RBK are arguing about Obviously, there's a bunch of rumors about me I even stopped bringing groupies, what if they make a hole in a condom? And then they will leak our photos to OK magazine, that's the dark side of being famous... ...just like his trip to Phuket half a year ago Whoops! [Slava KPSS puzzled] What? Are you high? Are you high? [Voice in background] True story! I have little birds too, and unlike yours they've got clip microphones on them He thinks, "I hope he didn't find out about Golden Resort!" Bro, there's no shame in it, there's no shame in it! Let's put it this way. For a short time, and it was rather innocent But he had a friend known as "the dancer" Not really a masseur, not really a make-up artist, not really an exotic dancer But that's not the problem, the problem was that he basically looked like a typical trans Give me this folder! Here. Now, I'd like anyone, who actually saw Karelin on Resort, to come here Oh well, looks like there are none today, but a little bit more and y'all would believe me! Battles with real facts! Battles with real facts! [Voices in background] Genius! Bravo! We need to think about this one Battles with real facts – the gift for liars The truth? Nah, just know how to present it properly [Slava KPSS replies] Yep If you're gonna dig up all the dirt, searching in the garbage You will represent not Slovo, but Podslushano Khabarovsk [Slava KPSS cheers] Yeeeaa. Nice! So, basically, you have two lines of attack: Either blame me for something you're even worse at, well, that's dumb Or, like Cynics, be a dog, and come up with something rotten about me, shit yourself right here Gnojnyj, your words are pure air You look like E.T., but landed in Grozny, as it seems It's easy to get in here swiftly, but as easy to get shredded You had a decent year, it's not too late to leave Time! [Voices in background] Slava, fuck him up! Slava, fuck him up! [Round 1: Slava KPSS] Slava KPSS and Oxxxy, the new punk wave And everyone was waiting for a performance of the King and the Jester Well, fuck this! I declare, you're dead as a creator and you don't deserve to be honored as a cult rap singer I don't accept your accomplishments, so when I spit my rhymes I remind you of your father Let's talk about your album, analyze it in Lavrentiy Beria's cold-blooded manner You performed poorly in your Gryffindor, if there's something Russians are good at, then it's destroying the empires Everyone waited four years for it, he tried his best to intrigue them And what he came up with? Recorded an audiobook A trivial dystopia, by the way That's the level of discourse of Jahmal and Loik With a plot that any stupid whore could come up with Your rap is cheap literature in paperback It's just a bunch of the most boring cliches in history Original plot: tragic love story in a dystopia No one fucking came up with something like this before, right? Neither Orwell nor Zamyatin It's a pop motif everyone fucking fed up with already But you said it yourself to Afisha, "It's not about how good an idea is, it's only about its survivability" Well, if your music is a brand, then why don't I choose Gucci? It's commercial too, just like your allegedly breakthrough album with the smart punchlines with a dash at the end A used condom can make some noise too, if it ends up in a female monastery I remember that fucking feeling when your fans started playing your album loudly in my house It felt like I'm a honey dipper who got his annual salary paid in shit Well, look at this little fuck who emerged as a king Loved to drop names so much that he even came up with his own ones So conceptual because you got tired of the craft You ran out of ideas even before you started writing Used to be "against everybody", now he's kinda our guy The album is so crap that it got praised by Noize, you get it? [Oxxxymiron intervenes] Right in the heart! Right in the heart! You said he was a graphomaniac to the core And he praises Gorgorod, and not, let's say, your first mixtape It's not a coincidence, Ogorod is a piece of grinded out shit I don't see 11 tracks, I see 11 sentences for raping myself You come up with new characters like a fucking cripple sculpts in clay with his stump hands It's hard to mix up you and a poet, like a bag of dicks and a spinner "A slim print of a shoulder", teachers, what a shame! You couldn't see this in Pasternak's work, it's simply illiteracy! A print of a slim shoulder! Fuck, writing isn't your strongest suit You come up with not punchlines, but silliness like "handball world record" The fuck is this? It's on your album The fuck is this, idiot? Where's the work on the word? Where are the unexpected meanings, man? It sounds like a misstep in porno: You thought if people lick your ass, you can shit on the tongue And when you get a diarrhea, you know what will be the ugliest? That all your trips into the toilet are connected with each other, even your shit is conceptual! Fuck all the dumb politicians and all those greedy bankers The worst are you, the creators of this indecent subjectivity Where "third-tier remix of Yesenin" or top-tier one of Aldous Huxley Have the social approval. But I don't fucking care about Jewish fairy tales I don't listen to Gorgorod, don't read Torah, and don't hang around Echo of Moscow Weird, they love the bald ones in the Right Sector, but they would still fuck you up [Shouts to the crowd] Hush! Hush! For Brodsky-like graphomania, Yesenin-like shit-tier lyricism Where are you walking the edge yourself? At the edge of a pool near a hotel? Fuck, when you tell me that I'm not really a musician And only live on some dubious hype You'll basically describe yourself After all, Gorgorod is not even a good calque, not a napalm, but a bubble gum You just shit a bunch of liberal cliches But writing dystopias, what kind of a protest is that, dumbo? Useless like police shooting a gay parade with rubber bullets You didn't spit from the barricades And even your favorite Lamar said "fuck Trump!" But for you "fuck up" is an open visors evening Where you're afraid to talk freely. And even He Is Not Dimon to You Is braver in this aspect than your fucking album You're like, "I'm not a politician, I'm an artist, I don't write statements, I write tracks" [Voice in background] True story! But like a politician you're a populist, otherwise why would you get into all this? You were rooting so fucking much for Russia that you started nervously losing ganglia? But when we had protests here, where you were? In England! London, London, teach us how to live! How are we Rebuilding Russia without you? You impose your dime novel as political satire But don't call them by names, it's full of Jewish surnames And we have a tradition in Russia, we don't call the names when we talk about a rat in our own collective Meanwhile I bring you the revolution, like back in the days, straight from Tushino The wheels of this cart are spinning. The Futurists threw Pushkin from the steamship of modernity! And you kept Oxxxy. Because he's alive! But he's just a living proof of how anyone can run out of ink and become a nobody in four years Spent your talent, not on the hop, but on dope and dust Your Oxxxy is just an inflated figure, like a glass rooster Time! [Round 2: Oxxxymiron] Yo. He said he didn't listen to Gorgorod, but the spring will tell us who shit where The whole your first round is a paraphrase of the track "Who You Became". Think about it [Slava KPSS and Oxxxy] – Nope. Nope, it's not – Yes, it is. Relisten it again, bro – Nope. I did listen to it Anyway. Yo. Give me mic, start the cypher, let's hype Let's offend mother and lie, steal and bite Pour a tub of shit over the brothers, ghostwriter is found Rhythm? Fuck it! On the battle, become more popular than aristocracy So, stop it. Don't compare us Back in the day I was anti-, was breaking their moral grounds So I could shit on an average man – pioneer I should have kept you as sperm on the bed Since what was fresh back then, back in the years Completely different now, unfortunately, unfunny stand-up One thing is violating a tabu, turn the crowd inside out Twist the listener with the power of words, eat their soul And another thing is a conveyor of shit No goals, only one idea: to get the most likes. Isn't it true That like Ernesto you wanted to get on TV? It's okay, I don't judge. Even though your duplicity is kinda awful Actually, whatever, he's a swindler Personally, I never performed on a corporate party It's hard to hear for me when people are chewing Never was on radio, was on TV only once Even though I get a lot of requests daily, like it's PMs from lolis Meanwhile, if you were me, you'd be singing in Golden Ogonyok right now Saying "I'm here just to troll" True, true story [Slava KPSS replies] Yes To give you an idea, I didn't record with Major Lazer for 15 millions You'd suck a black cock for pocket change from a sponsor, like the writer Limonov [Slava KPSS pointing at Oxxxy] Smart guy And they say, "Mirosha, you crazy!" Nope, I just don't like Major Lazer They say, "you're a dumbass" But true fans know, I appreciate them, Oxxxytentacion I have three X's too, ayy You'll disappear, like my mixtape A lot of doubts, Miron, ayy Who likes penises in his mouth? Gay You've got a new release? Ayy You've got a hundredth release? Ayy If your rap is rap, then my rap if you're with me shout "ayy!" Look, only SlovoSPB remained silent. WindbagsSPB I will never visit you, like it's a school of MVD Underdogs of battle rap? Nah, you're snobs without cash Topical battle with Shurygina? It's the bottom of SPB [Slava KPSS asking] What does it have to do with me? Nah, I'm not even arguing, Versus is bullshit too With such an energetic start, it became a nightmare in half a year [Oxxxymiron to Restorator] You thought I'd give you a line and will remain silent? Yeah, we're friends, but you shit on what we started together [Slava KPSS talking to his friends in background] Easy. Like I said, he talks about this shit And that's not a stab in the back, Sanya, remember with Jan How many times did I explain it to you? Versus used to be a place where we'd find the new talents Now it's a place where every mediocrity can get some quick dough Where you can fall flat on your face, like Larin A flock of blogger-fans will like these 5 minutes of fame anyway Offbeat? Screw it! Reloads, reposts, BMW, BPM Less rappers than sponsors. Circus! What about rap-hagakure, the way of bushido? I keep mumbling about the culture, like Redo bit me "The old man is just envious of Khovan's and Eldar's success!", nah It's just that all your idols have the same ghostwriter from Fresh Blood And it's not a protest, I'm not hip-hop policeman And when he doesn't offend the dead, Khovan is a pretty good guy But since all of your bloggers and comics are passing through battle rap Let's be honest and list all the writers Easy, easy, real talk, real talk But I believe, Versus will resurrect And if it's not Slovo, then it's a bluff Me and Sanya have a bunch of fuck ups But wounded lion is still a lion While a healthy jackal remains a jackal You thought I'm afraid of somebody? Your jokes, punchlines, Zamay and Berserk? Bro, I've seen much worse, I swear! Console yourself that you're still underground And you're still on top But I'm like NTV, who wants all the ins and outs of SlovoSPB? Well, listen what happened five years ago There was no Versus, no Slovo, rap was shouting "dat's what's up!" Andrey Mikheyev knew, that I'm following King of the Dot since 2008, and told that to Hyde Krasnodar is on the line, we spoke through Skype for 3 hours Hints, questions, how to write texts for battles I remember how I explained them that I'm tired of freestyles All the schemes, flips, who to stand correctly And we both were sick with this shit Well, that's basically the whole story, how this project was born I was there in the beginning, kiss the ring! Dat's what's up! Since I was the consigliere of Don Anton, your godfather Everyone who says "what?" doesn't know the history Anyway So, don't want to kiss the ring? How predictable, he's not an authority to you You wanna organize your own battle-quartet [Talks to Den Cheney] But Cheney, stop this bullshit, you knew I kept the neutrality, but you keep misleading everyone You and Berserk didn't just leave Hyde Betraying father and the project You secretly registered your rights for the project! And I heard this story Real talk, real talk in this bitch First you secretly registered your right for the project And I heard this story from you and PLC You came up with a bunch of excuses, but I asked you straight: If Hyde and PLC are really exploiting the weak, fascists And you're innocent victims, slaves of the franchise Then why didn't you create a new battle with a new name, but stole their name and registered it like rats? And you know what he told me? True story: "Eastern Roman Empire", remember? We were sitting in front of 1703, Koryushka party, remember, remember! "Eastern Roman Empire didn't change their name when they separated from Roman" Well, Deniska, you're a bad boy, a radish When I was partying with him, I kept my wallet really close And thanks for the history class you read me generously Unfortunately, pathos and demagoguery won't help you, Denis You abandoned the ship and stole a loose lifeboat in a hurry Brought a crew of midgets, kept telling us bullshit for years And you didn't visit us to be friends, you hated us Your tamed nigga Stefan and a pocket Jew Edik You're forever in the shadow of your Big Brother You're a calque, even while drunk You're Restorator on minimal settings You're not Slovo, you're not Versus, you're a fake branch Impostors, the whole logo is full of someone else's achievements Die, SlovoSPB! You built a crypt, thought you could hide it from them Your story, but sorry, bro, I'm gonna open up this abscess There's an alchemy formula, what's on top is on the bottom too If rats are controlling Slovo, what do you expect from the servants? And in you, like in a microcosm, Slovo truly reflects All your envious intrusiveness, along with your stung pride What's there left for Gnojnyj? Keep trolling and be always against something Except you, sir, when trolling, you don't fight, you echo me [Talks to Zamay] If it's cool, Zamay, alright, continue Continue offending me in vain, bro Bullshitting about hype with Antihype you can't hide the lack of meaning behind the predicate And I dunno why Jubilee found the feigned couldn't-care-less attitude Dunno why Ernesto battled you like a you're an angry communist You're simply empty, absolutely empty, nothing behind your soul, I'm sorry for it You were spitting rhymes about monkeys, but you're a primate too But you're a primacy of the form over the content Diss after diss, after release, after mixtape, after remix. Your incontinence is so huge That you've got diarrhea without shit, it's simply water. Instead of your ass you use your two hemispheres You're not a byaka, you're way too fragile Achilles, turtle, heel Soaking up, like a sponge But I'm gonna squeeze you, like a rag You're cheap copy of Versus You are a funny cosplay of me Waiting for the new intro, where Cheney riding a Lexus around 1702 bar It's hard to forget me, impossible to hurt my feelings, all your tries are off the mark Miss Russia, Oksana Fyodorova, Sonya is here as an ugly friend I'm not a partymaker, I'm a bodybagger Antifaker, original Russian hater My mother is Jewish, my father is like Drake's father Bitch, I'm Ice Kid like Grime Kid and fuckin' bagging Canning, motherfucking, Town, E16, baby! Slava, it's time to go to bed, collect the stickers But no matter what you won't understand how to write cool tracks Since the only thing you're good at is battling and creating remakes And me? I'm the Universal Soldier, the clubs won't be sold out While you *spits* keep removing my saliva from your forehead You dolt, we're family here, Obi and Drago are both friends We're like The Three Musketeers from Remarque's and Dumas' novel How do you say it? *pow pow* In your face with RPG Your praised legion? Plasterboard and particle board Y'all are just loudmouths with teen overblown ego Versus is something SlovoSPB can never be! That's it, that's the whole story with chronicle And my dead homie aka Nikolay Gumilyov will help me with the epilogue That's about you: In olden days, when above the new world God inclined his face, then The sun was halted with a word A word could destroy cities And the eagle would not flap its wings The terrified stars would cling to the moon When, like a pink flame The word floated in the heavens But you have forgotten the word alone Is numinous among earthly struggles And in the Gospel According to John It is said that the word is God You have chosen to limit it To the boring limits of nature And, like bees in a deserted hive Dead words smell bad Versus! [Oxxxymiron talks while brooming] – I don't mind – Could clean the sneakers too, while you're at it – Nah, bro [Round 2: Slava KPSS] So well-mannered, huh? Thought you invited me to battle. That's a brave deed as for a Jew And then I realized, that's not bravery, it's just a common sense: If you're fighting, you die faster You reanimated my career, hyped it up to eleven! One day I'm gonna write a book called "The tweet that changed my life" But my grandpa is Johnyboy and he taught me, "don't believe the Jew Cuz if he's throwing you a ring buoy then your career is sinking" So no remorse! KPSS is in this skirmish The only sober like it's a drunk fight Remember the communist from the forum tore you a new one? I'm not Baban's biter, I'm mimicking the maniac Are you really an opponent for me, though, with punchlines about "this big"? Imma fuck you up with whatever I have lying around Here's a shelf full of your fuck ups, I'm picking a random one You considered Guf to be shit, now you kinda admire him "The burry talent", huh? You'd be like "fuck it" towards the Russian rap, but it's a hard thing to do when you're castrated Either you're a trimmer or it took you years to see Guf's talent, go figure You represent this cheap shit called the Plastic World And if the judges look at him lovingly then consider him a winner already Knowing where the noise is coming from is your superhero ability Oxxxy vane, he changes his direction even when someone is blowing a tailwind Yeah, this soldier doesn't hold a defense Fuck, even a pathologist gets under the skin more frequently than him Can't say a bad word about anyone nowadays According to the contract, you remain toothless, like Alexander Ovechkin We're on the war here, yeah And you ran away, leaving behind the outpost You just stand aside and watch Like those Germans who allowed the Holocaust You say you changed the direction? Nah, you only changed where you're rowing towards Stopped fucking others' mothers, he's an adult now, what's next? A battle every year, so what, where are the punchlines? Your bars in battles are an ugly bride Wanna marry her off, but she got nothing to ask the price for And how a person can stand behind something if there's nothing to stand behind? It's painful to watch your attempts You get the battle contexts just as good as the dude in "Dad reacts to Versus" videos Check it fucking yourself, fantastic Miron's punchlines without himself lose their shine "You're not the creator of golems, but on this photo you're like a potter"! [Oxxxymiron intervenes] Top punchline! And that's not the only one. The one about fucking "awl in the ass", "the bad energetics" one, "Gulkin's dick" one If someone else used those, they'd send him to RBL [Oxxxymiron intervenes] – RBL respect! – Fuck them But not you, nah, since you came up with this obscene counting-out rhyme What's next? On this battle you gonna fart in front of a lighter? Or the one about pithecanthropus, bro That punchline was really fucking dumb I'm not Oxxxymiron, but You guys perform like a lubricant on a dickhead Exactly the same, absolutely no additional information On his next album he's gonna rhyme, "We give you everything, like a passport in UVD!" Or about fucking clitoris geolocation Clitoris geolocation, wonderful! So you don't believe in ZOG, but believe that a clitoris sends some information to a satellite? [Oxxxymiron intervenes] It was a joke, idiot And his texts are full of shit like this Works perfectly ofc, since he serves it with an arrogant face of an expert "My flow is a DDoS attack, we've got the remote access"! [Oxxxymiron replies] So-so punchline, yeah Remote access, eh? You shitty scholar, we won't get far in space with specialists like this DDoS actually prevents the remote access! [Oxxxymiron talks to his friend in the crowd] Jan, I checked this punchline with you, why didn't you tell me? Or maybe "you're speaking too fast, and I'm listening too slow"? They even made merch based on this phrase, for the smartest ones But what you might not know is that this phrase was first used in 2010 by Nonna Grishayeva in the TV show Big Difference [Oxxxymiron intervenes] Dunno who that is, sorry bro Yeah? So either you stole it knowingly Or your level, scum, is comedy cud from TV So those who get it and who can't stand the TV Won't notice the difference if "City under the sole" is playing there the whole day But Miron doesn't need punchlines, he's an interesting dude either way Today you're watching battles without punchlines, and tomorrow it's gonna be porn without girls [Oxxxymiron talks to his friends behind] My texts don't have any punchlines? I don't get it Personalities, personalities, personalities! What are those fucking personalities? They believe that I was drinking piss from a boot, and that you dated Sonya Grese [Oxxxymiron shouts] Never! And that your mouth has so much protein in it that you can bake the full tray of meringue Since battles are the after-truth territory It doesn't matter which fact is truthful So what's up with the personalities, fucking retard, it's all about the number of punchlines I've got a full pack of equivalent bars, like it's Fix Price If the king dies, the coffin should be king-size Oh, you need a cupboard to keep the skeletons of those you've battled with? I've got an interesting fact for you: I need 4 of those, since I've battled 16 times And they put you against the wall with John I guess out of this firing squad I'm the only one who has live ammunition? They buried themselves, but you pretended like you're helping them: You motivated ST, threw a ring buoy to John, was lecturing Kripl [Oxxxymiron intervenes] You're next, you're next, you're next. Let's do this, let's do this, let's do this [Slava KPSS shouts at the audience] Silence! Shut the fuck up, bitches! Listen here, you fucking piece of crap, you can seduce others with your sonnets I'm not Finland for you, so don't you, bitch, come to me with your pieces of advice And stop talking about yourself. Fuck, I call you Dryomin A battler is supposed to be a psychologist, and not act like he's visiting one [Oxxxymiron addresses the viewer] Hah! Remember this If you forget about the opponent while battling him Then you're probably jerking off near the toilet when you visit your girlfriend And the she says, "Miron, let's move to my place?" And you reply, "I don't wanna fuck with you, I'm here to improve my results from the previous sex!" The father of battle rap in Russian, you produce some dubious stuff Antihype is a social service, I take the parental rights away from you You act like you're fighting for improvement, but it's all empty talk You have never visited another battle league How would you know if the culture is still alive if you don't measure the pulse? Make battle rap great again? You don't even know that it's dying, no new talented MCs Raytraun is battling at Versus now. We're doing the remakes of the old finals In fact, we're kicking around the dead genre Battle rap is dead, there's no underground Meanwhile, mainstream is a shame, like Fresh Blood on blood But if it's gonna die while being filmed I wanna be the gun shooting at Brandon Lee! Oh, and I wanna pronounce the time of death: 17:03! Time! [Round 3: Oxxxymiron] Have you noticed this? Third rounds always hit the hardest MCs always put some intrigue into them But I'm a nerd, so I'm gonna sacrifice it, screw it! I wanna talk about books [Talks to Slava KPSS] – You can take a nap in meanwhile – Gonna humiliate me now, for Jacques Genet? – Nah, nah, nah There's this great book called The Hero with a Thousand Faces I bet it's gonna sell well now I read it back in Kiev this crazy spring When I was deep in the solitude The tongue left me, I was stuck You don't know what it is Everyone was wondering: drinking or preparing a new release? Meanwhile I was there, just sitting on a balcony (Those rhymes are so-so, right? But whatever, they're true.) That book returned me back to life I realized that I'm still alive And the same book inspired Lucas, back in the day, to write (Where's Obi? Oh, there he is) Star Wars The idea is simple: in all mythologies, in all religions, no matter how many And in the base of any story there's on motif: Someone hears the voice from afar He leaves the home alone He takes the road out of the town Goes straight into a forest full of nets Finds some monsters on his way He fights them, still alone He's not a hero yet, he's afraid of everything But he keeps going Eventually, he finds the lair It will be hard, but he'll make it He'll kill the dragon, get back to home But he won't be the same person he left He'll sleep a bit, no doubt And then will go out again All the comic books are based on this The TV shows, the layers of culture The drug trips, the dystopias, the fairy tales, the fables, the sculptures, and the dreams To the point that if you compare Egypt myths and Banditskiy Peterburg You'll the the path of one hero under the disguise of these two The path of the hero, killing the monsters Collecting the treasures, building pagan temples He's not a hero because he's ripped and he's a warrior But because it can't be any other way I remember the first battles in Russia People thought you had to throw thousands dicks at the opponent Then they started the deconstruction Everyone would take the enemy apart But behind all this kitchen psychology Lies the collective unconscious [Slava KPSS replies] Oh yeah? And behind any, even everyday one Demonstration of negativity between two different people You can see the ancient motif, collision of archetypes The heroes, the dragons, they're still here Even if the battle is in office between a stapler and a hole puncher And the heroes are similar to the dragons, people mix them up, but wait There's a fundamental difference between two The dragon doesn't have his own way, doesn't have his own idea, no ideology His role is to be an enemy. He's chilling in his lair, breathing the smoke with fire Why doesn't, for example, Joker have his own movie? Batman has one, Catwoman, Batman and Robin, but not him Why is there no game where you're playing as a mushroom, jumping on Super Mario? And if there was one, it would be a joke. Millions wouldn't be playing it You get it. My analysis is rather simple Gnojnyj, you're just one more level, but not the final boss The hero isn't afraid to say I have the flaws, I'm vulnerable That's why people will see themselves in him They won't see anything in you You're a snake, you're afraid of me and yourself The only chance you have is to joke away, while mocking You're a slippery bastard, can't catch you Except it's not a feature, it's a bug, man (Speaking of a programmer) Because sarcasm is a shell, an armor, scales But where are you, tovarisch? I spit with the open visor, friends Therefore you will lose Maybe it's just the way it goes or the karma is just shitty But you only played the antagonist's role And that's the tragedy of Slava Mashnov, Karelin, et cetera You are not an anti-hero, you are not a hero even Zero empathy towards you And crowd won't go after you For them, you're just another person to follow in Instagram You have no path, you used mine But forgot that mine was sincere Battle rap, black humor, and grime: where's Gnojnyj behind mockery and anonymity? There's none, or he disappeared You copied everything, even my gesture Mister postmodernist, you are a compost, but shit-ist All there's left for you is to be an MC on parties (Fuck that, you don't have to make noise for that) Oh, and maybe someone has noticed it But my rounds have no mat in them "How's that?", will ask me Gotham. "You're the author of that one quote." It's simple: I'm battling against a shell-shocked, really bland rat While obscene language is the crowning jewel of the great Russian language Okay? And let's say that today, perhaps, you will even defeat me [Slava KPSS replies] I will I will get back to touring You will get back to trolling me [Slava KPSS replies] Yep. That's fantastic! Let's applaud the poet! One hour caliphs, leaders for a moment Look, ready to conquer the Olympus, while bragging about it What? My cake with candles is lit afar I'm so old that "Black Star" for me is Talib Kweli and Mos Def [Slava KPSS shouts] Yeaaah, that's good stuff And some voice is whispering: "Drop this rap shit Keep your trail clean Before you end up degrading like brostep" But the bunch of faces are blinded by the opposite light Screeching, tears, underwear, we are a boy band And you? You're momma's armchair critic Listen, EeOneGuy As Stalin once said: "If you're criticizing something, then suggest something else!" You gonna act like a fool, act recklessly Doesn't matter, you're still in my rap coordinate system If, one day, you come up with a different style Because it's shameful to live by someone else's paradigm when you're 27 Then you will be on your own way, you'll be the protagonist of the narrative Until then, you're what an ass came up with Slava, Slava, you're jaunty and sweet But take my organ out of your throat You were a rather tall punching bag I used to prepare myself for the battle with Dizaster! Time! [Voice from the crowd] Slava, you're just a marionette! [Round 3: Slava KPSS] You're so fucking narcissistic, bro. "I'm grime!" But if you google "grime", you'll see my video from Slovo That's how you promote grime those four long years You're angry at me, because I call my bullshit "grime"? You're so dumb, you don't even get the joke, moron I stole the dearest from you, like it's kidnapping Because of me, grime in Russia is now rap battles with fast flow [Oxxxymiron intervenes] Is that your opinion? Think I do this out of pity or because I wanna become famous? I'm just laughing at you, you fucking bald female midget And I'm okay with a status of Vkontakte-artist While you don't get it, like a postmodernist any money in a pawnbroker's shop You migrated to Russia, but your hair are in panic Ran away to Europe, like Syrian refugees What's next on the menu? Let's talk about your Aryan schnoz If it decides to leave, you know, like in Gogol's story It will go straight to Israel, to get the dough Since your nostril looks like the cave Christ was born in Fuck, only you can refrain from battling for a year Tatu dedicated their "Malchik Gay" to you I need The Easy Way to Stop Battling, since I fuck a bunch of battlers like you every day There's a red dwarf in front of me, like I see Betelgeuse in the telescope Hail you down with a bunch of punchlines, call it flow Mayweather Bodybag, since I play battle rap frequently My number of frags is off the charts, like I'm playing laser tag Fuck everybody! Keep talking about nihilism, but you can tell a denier since he's shining from the inside out "Fuck mainstream!"... shouted this counterculturist during his battle against Dunya Now, using myself as an example, he explained why this way leads nowhere "It's miserable and awful, but why do I need this boiling shit? I declined even Evening Urgant's offer!" Declined, yeah? You're a Jew, remember? Here you're so true, but behind the curtain... You declined the commercial offers to get all the fattest ones! [Oxxxymiron intervenes] Real talk, real talk What about you, though? He went to Urgant, after all, but was outrageously... neat there Wore a shirt with a dumb print Damn, you showed them corporate pigs! Take that, fucking cultural terror! Weren't ready? If they invite him to Dom-2, he'll wear socks with sandals Fuck off with your Showroom, stick your stock market data up your ass I roll you into a shawarma and shove it in Khovan's throat! Enough! You meshed so well with the image of the saint buffoon, you'll feel a mild pain when I start tearing it off, along with the flesh "My work with Reebok is to create something new and not grab the cash from the fans" They take some old sneakers, put the Oxxxy logo on them, and then double the price! Fuck, that's what you were fighting for? Well, you're out of luck You were a hungry MC, ate others, and became spoiled It's really pitiful To see a lonely and sad 30-years old man who drags a fangirl into his dressing room Fuck it, I dedicate this to all the girls: You like the Mayor's song so much Don't know about postmodern rap You go wild when you hear "Devochka-Pizdets" and go on Oxxxy's concert But remember: even the prince can be a scumbag And if he sees a princess in you, he's like a dragon Can catch you and fuck you in the cave! Yeah, in your very own little cave So what about the battle with Schokk? "He was like a brother to me, I'll never make a show out of it!" Well, that's honorable, to not shit on those you were together with But then you quarrelled with LSP and acted like Buzova at Lobnoe mesto You released an hour-long video to throw shit at your former artist Therefore that's exactly what your current artists can expect to happen later Makes sense, right? And at the end he said, "If we have to, we can solve this the other ways. It's not 2013, we're different now!" Really? Are you proud that you're so brutal now you can beat LSP up? Maybe you'll fucking kick Dzharakhov in his face too? Or will leak a sex tape to fans? God, no trans is trying so fucking hard to look masculine Pretending to be a cowboy? Stop this shit Only in Brokeback Mountain you could be the Red-ass Chief You're spitting rhymes, you aren't robbing a bank If you see a bunch of rods around you, then you're walking in a park You forgot what the hatred is In a beef, you're like a disabled person in a wheelchair "The scum assumed my kindness was a weakness". Fuck, that sounds like it's from the Twitter of some whore from the block! Called Sasha a toastmaster, meanwhile you performed your verse from the battle on Serebro's corporate party A toastmaster! True story! [Oxxxymiron intervenes] That was not a corporate party. I can prove it easily More contests await! Turn off the lights Whoever loses goes to Butyrka prison? Sure After that situation with Chechnya, I'm the best at throwing a pencil into a bottle! And you still live off that pretentious culture creator's shit, huh? No self-irony, no mockery "Porchy, Akela has missed!", when you're pissing past urinal You narcissistic moron, that's not theatrical stage for you But you spent more time in front of The Mirror than Andrei Tarkovsky All those songs that are only about yourself How you, alone, with a bag of polonium, for 6 years straight "Didn't try to appeal to those who despised you at first"? Dubious shit Act in Zhigan's film? That's a really eloquent symptom Apparently it's the only person in the world who has both Down and Stockholm syndromes! Like general Vlasov, you are a piece of shit and a traitor When you received the news from Berlin, you changed your side Threw your friend away faster than the gangster his shawarma I wouldn't let you to have my back, like you're a drunken tattoo master [Oxxxymiron intervenes] You were fifteen And all for the stadiums and the loud crowds? Olimpiyskiy will be a great coffin for an ego of your size And when I think, "Stop! That can't be it! Oxxxymiron is way smarter than that" I remember that you like Lyokha Med That you praise Mozee Montana and dream about performing in Olimpiyskiy [Oxxxymiron intervenes] Yeah. Things, things Fuck, you're as picky about your tastes as a young whore at a house party! How angry he was when he couldn't sign Bumble Beezy He chose... "Punchlines and Rhymes" Your booking has a problem, Beezy is the Russian Lil Peep But MCs aren't memes for you to steal them from "RiP" Fuck, wanna earn money with booking? It's easier to earn money with Booker Your shots are flat like it's a platformer shooter game Rem Digga was rhyming about Donbass, people went into trenches after him And the only person who did anything after you is Urgant, who drew a dick on his neck [Slava KPSS shouts at the crowd cheering him] Shush! Shush! Shush! You didn't live near the verbal ore in a mine But you're so fucking pretentious, like you were in the same school with Putin "Only forward! Only the progress!" But what kind of progress? Towards the Western sound? Any newbie can make beats like yours nowadays Towards quality? Well, we heard your tracks You even admitted yourself they were mixed in a slapdash manner So, what's up, stadium rapper? Where are you going? You don't cut the window to the West, you're the Rat-catcher of Hamelin You bring everyone to the bottom along with you Like all of your new school. I've heard plenty of this stuff If you wanna do like them, just be a McDonald's franchisee If there is good kid, m.A.A.d city already, why the fuck do I need Gorgorod in my player? Solving creativity challenges someone has already solved Is like reusing a teabag Yeah, you can do it, but it's not the same. Shameful stuff for poor rappers Who lack any new ideas. You are not Kendrick Lamar in Russia In your whole career there was nothing except for fucking self-reflection "Me, me, me", all the stuff you recorded is about your own figure You talk so fucking much about culture, but have you even tried giving it a careful thought? No, you have not. Even in our shitty song about vape we've said way more All your rap is about nothing, because it's about Oxxxy So, fuck you and fuck Versus, with its submissive crowd! I would rather die a fucking noname than become famous and end up being like you! [Slava KPSS asks Oxxxymiron] – Would you let me drink your water? – Nah. I can give the whole bottle to you, though – Thanks – Won't drink from the same bottle as you – Well