lonely god Lyrics
Marlboro Nights
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Completely Exposed Lyrics (Static’s Verse) I’ve had some lonely nights and empty days I let the boom box blast just so I can throw the rest away I’m recollecting while the record plays Just looking back on what I’ve overcame and seen how my perceptions changed And maybe that’s how this obsession came A young teen struggling with depression, stress, and aggressive rage I’m self-reflecting and expressing pain Cause there’s a deepness in my heart and that’s exactly where this message stays And when I’m gone I hope my message plays For every troubled teen stuck in a vicious anti-depressant phase For anyone who’s ever lost their way For mothers working three jobs just to make sure the electrics paid Just know you’re a hero in every way And don’t you dwell upon the shortcoming realities of yesterday They say I’m young so what I say is strange They say I’ve grown so much, but in my own eyes I’ve never changed Sometimes I rhyme without direction or clause Sometimes I find my body acting in distress and exhaust Sometimes I need some guidance, my perspective is off Sometimes I wanna acknowledge all this deception and fraud, yeah Sometimes I feel so strong I’ll never take a loss Sometimes I wanna reinstate what’s up to date and false Sometimes I wanna redirect and educate the lost Sometimes my mind gets too hectic to separate my thoughts So I apologize for all the trouble that I’m causing you Sorry mom and dad but this is something that I gotta do If you believe in it yourself than nobody is stopping you Live under the impression that nothing is impossible I’m never stalling, gotta keep moving I gotta keep the rhythm deep inside my head so I can dream to it Kept coming back after regrouping And I put all of my heart in my music because it’s deep rooted You ever feel like the world is against you? And nobody seems to understand your personal issues? Ever loose track of time gripping firm on a pencil? Ever listen to a verse where every word is suspenseful? My flow is nasty like a girl on her menstrual I’ve been living kind of timid, but determined to let loose The glass is half full, cause what’s a curse is a gift too Can give the right advice but every person will misuse You know your life is gone when poking holes beneath your skin You now your life is wrong when you enclose the needle in You’re closer to defeat and you don’t know if you can win Get closer to your peeps because we need you as a friend If anyone’s opposing this then those’ll be condemned I wrote this with the notion that my quotes will leave the pen I spit this with emotions from within I spit this till my main man Zoo won’t have to hopelessly depend I spit this till I’m vibing and my mind is in a zone I’m digging deep and rhyming off the bottom of the dome I spit this for my brothers down to ride when I come home I do this so my mother won’t be sobbing on the phone Cause if you’re optimistic you can rise out the gutter If you survive through the winter you can thrive in the summer All that we can do is look into the eyes of our mother And just hope that all of these difficult times get outnumbered So I’m, getting lifted off some new haze My head’s nodding to the beat taking rips off of huge J’s I’m feeling great I hope this mood stays I’m this feeling could last forever but unfortunately moods change I look at it as one of two ways I’m either on the right track or a victim of a fool’s rage I’m sitting on a chair with loose legs I live with no regrets and cherish every breath like it’s doomsday So we gon’ party leave the roof raised Cause I don’t even want a job that judges talent off of school grades A free thinker leaving booth’s slayed My dues paid so I promise that I’ll consistently spew flames A new mic or a new stage A noose tight around the neck of a writer leaving bruised veins So you can praise these other dudes names Cause I’ll be fine at the end of the day if I know that the truth’s saved (Zoo’s Verse) Five years old, rain boots jumping over a puddle Ten years later, high school, smoking weed, getting into trouble One year after that, got introduced to pills And it was a dark spiral of deceit and cheap thrills Before I knew it was a problem I was withdrawing off oxycontin, steady scheming and plotting My warm heart became rotten Stealing money, flipping pharmaceuticals While my mom’s slaved away at a desk in a cubical By the way, I was once in love No really, I was once in love I was under the influence and she took me above She was the anchor to my ship and together we walked through some shit Remember that time after prom at seaside When we split a bottle, laughed and then cried Well I do, it sucks that we lied But we were both young and stupid when we said to each other “love you till I die” Or that afternoon in central park We held hands till it got dark, slowly walked back to my place Wish I realized I was in a race against time Because now I’m in central park alone writing this rhyme And one night I held her as she cried herself to sleep I felt her pain and I guess I had my own demons down deep Cause after that, I relapsed in a week I became fragile and weak Still I couldn’t let down my armor My habit pushed her away but I swear to god in my heart I’d never harm her If I didn’t let the drugs win maybe we’d still be together Probably not even though I swear I did change for the better I gotta silence the demons before I can silence the haters And truthfully, who the fuck am I to rate her? I felt a lot of pain, but I cause a lot more Like the day my little brother found two buns in my sock drawer If I was lying I’d be smiling feeling ok But it’s the truth so my mind is mixed up, my hearts astray Up and down, side-to-side, chemical rollercoaster In a shootout with the devil, got my gun out of the holster Now I’m smoking marlboros, moving through the memories of my past Grateful I found stability again at last I’ve had far worse days than today So inside that makes me feel ok (life’s getting better) Trying to stay clean on the path to be serine Only a handful truly know what I mean And for those who do, I commend you and pray Cause I know that it’s hard to get through the day I’m sick of loosing people, and sick of people worrying about loosing me I gotta open my eyes so I can see Working the twelve steps, hitting the rooms And honestly you wouldn’t last twelve steps in my shoes