FACE NEVER TRADE

[Round 1: Lexx Luthor] No beginning slogan today, we gon’ do this properly I took our battle serious, Dre, this here a rivalry I switched my whole shit up for this and shelved the comedy It’s ironic you got molested, ‘cause y’all ‘bout to see a whole ‘nother side of me (sodomy)! (*laughs*) “Hey, it’s Franklin” lookin’ motherfucker Your whole style’s Attack of the Clones-themed “Shootin’ dice in Hell is the only way you roll deep” Ho, please If you buy your girl some pads, it’s for her slow leak If I buy your girl some pads - ah-ha! - both knees Watch out, guys, it’s the Loud Boys - they smoke weed I’m from Team Homi, I kill people...with my whole team Who you brought wit’ you? Fuckin’ Bonus...and Holmzie? Those your OGs? Oh, jeez... Only reason you got more views than me is because of SMACK But I’m poppin’ now, lame And my ass is doin’ numbers: that’s that pocket dial fame Imagine the headlines - all the bloggers now say After white boy burnt the house down, they forgot about Dre Alcoholic, ‘bout to take a Red Stripe to the head like I’m drinkin’ wit’ Rufio Or school him wit’ a Dangerous Mind - don’t have to listen to Coolio I got a M-16 wit’ verse fire, and I keep the shit in the studio Doot-doot-doot-doot! Shit sound like the beginning of Yu-Gi-Oh! People fall asleep when you rap, Dre If he asks to spar, say no He’ll be rehearsing wit’ his wife on the honeymoon, and every bar, bae doze (Barbados) Someone tell Randy I’m a legend-killer My flow tighter than his Balmain clothes And these punches come outta nowhere - that’s why they are (R) KOs! You shoulda stayed loyal to Beasley, he created fame for you Instead of running to King of the Dot and sayin’ this ain’t the stage for you You coulda came to iBattle - we got a chain for you And that’s word to Rainbow Princess: pussy, I’ll make a name for you! I said, overreact, and get poked in the throat: I’ll Vulcan a fan Let somethin’ hot shoot the size of a thot juice and get to moldin’ the can’ I punched wit’ my last two opponents, and both of them ran I’m Kakashi Sensei, it’s either he wit’ the shit, or he gon’ bolt from the hands Nerd who? White boy where? Come see me flex I know everywhere in New York where the fronto and beedies kept You lost this one, Dre, but at least your girl can say she beat Lexx And if the bitch gets pregnant, I’mma push her down the PG steps! Where’s Quban at? Quban said he was gonna shoot Patrick Thompson Who the fuck does he think he is, Ruger Rell? You lost to GE, lil’ boy - you should shoot yourself! Suck my dick and write a book about it, Andre Keep bangin’ [Round 1: Dre Dennis] URL said there’s areas I need to address, and I showed the map Soon as I entered development, now I’m where Holmz’ (homes) is at They said, “We’ll bring you back. Just leave him dead and (end) here’s the road for that.” I see my comp’, Lexx (complex), I’ll show him around...this my coldest act (cul-de-sac) A Loud Boy! Who put this reggie bitch on board? This ain’t Rocket Power Soft punches: Sock ‘em Boppers Keep checkin’ the arms like I forgot to shower Spot the coward, runnin’ to the rear of his house while I cock the chopper Got the ratchet runnin’ to the back: “You are not the father!” You rapped wit’ Zig Zag, now got you some Loud Like Oscar D. Proud, you got the most confident style He be cheesin’ while I’m rappin’, all cocky and wild Amazon package: wit’ my delivery, you’ll still get boxed with a smile Loud! Double .9s: Warren Sapp Rock you, then your whore get clapped Shoot her boobs after, Lexx Lugers movin’ torch her (torture) rack Lexx is a semi-skinny nigga that’s still sorta fat And tell Blac Chyna you want your mothafuckin’ daughter back! Boy’ll splat! [Lexx Luthor] It’s like the hundredth time I’ve heard it, no big deal [Dre Dennis] Ash Ketchum a soft-ass kid I should throw him off a cliff for (Clifford) thinkin’ dog that big I draw that Sig, and that’ll make him pause that quick Like Selma, this nigga Luthor scared to cross that bridge! All my niggas ride for the thrill Lock-poppin’ the steel You a cop in the field, but we squeezin’ on double DEs (Ds) like we coppin’ a feel Lexx, this (Lexus) L right in your grill Shocked when I peel Son fake, gun shake, lunch break: he’ll get clocked wit’ the mill’ (meal) On King of the Dot for the thrill, then swap to the real Lack of drive and the skill to reach the top of the hill On King of the Dot, he white and he chill On SMACK, he a mobster, Team Homi, and trill I should hit you wit’ two .50s for playin’ both sides of the field! [Lexx Luthor] I’m actually Latin, but it is what it is [Dre Dennis] He gettin’ bodied in this ring Why these guys soup Lexx (suplex)? Got you wrecked This box’ll change a nigga: Erykah Badu sex! Want the fade? I’ll clap him, then I’ll line you next And what I raise enter Lexx (intellects) like a IQ test! He thinkin’ of steppin’, I’m squeezin’ the weapon Arms locked, like newlyweds’ first drink at a wedding And he think his squad royal? But you say they not loyal So these automatic subs will take these players out for you Doctor losin’ his practice: no more patience (patients) for me For nicks and (Nixon) presidents, I was wavin’ the piece (peace) Saw Lexx, and then steel on site (Lexington Steele), bang his Caprice Witnesses saw me throw him in the back, sprayin’ the heat Countin’ the rings in the trunk, like they tryna find the age of a tree! Yo, like, can’t get right I don’t talk, but I score Hopscotch: you’ll get boxed and chalked on the floor Sparkin’ when war Go to this cracker and fire - you ‘bout to get caught wit’ some more (s’more) Startin’, I’m barkin’ the Larkin, the .4! ‘Bout to march in yo’ apartment wit’ .4s! Like they ain’t remove the security tag, ‘cause I’m ringin’ when I walk through the DOOR! He can’t rap like this! Bitch, it’s a fact! Full-court press, my niggas just trap Vanessa and Baby Girl, how I live with the MAC So I catch him at his crib wit’ the gat End of House Party: I’m in the crib waitin’ for the Kid wit’ the strap! In fact? You a damn bitch to me Shootin’, fam’ sprintin’, see? Dude just ran instantly If you and Bangz see his rival, you just hype the nigga up wit’ too much damn energy Makes sense…’cause Lexx Luthor just soup a man (Superman) enemy Came in with Ave and Mike - see how good that class went? Me and Bonus would cook, then fans just...wanted to get the Loud off of SMACK like a ‘hood transaction You know, like, when you fake givin’ dap, but it’s kush fam’ passin’? Laughin’, so go and joke ‘bout Nick Cannon and shit How many PGs I got, how many battles I did Laugh about my weight loss and my marriage and shit ‘Cause when the jokes stop, you still gotta RAP in this bitch! BITCH! Loud, nigga! [Round 2: Lexx Luthor] You look like a girls’ softball coach Yup...I wrote for the casket Then I got lazy, and right here was s’posed to be a punch about coaching in Madden See, your battle on Wild n’ Out is like Holmzie’s battle wit’ that old dude- (*Brief pause in the action, as some people in the venue are talking way too loudly over the performance*) Aye, b-be quiet! I came all the way from Croatia for this shit, I flew 27 hours Uh, you look like a girls’ wrestling coach - let’s do that one I wrote for the casket This is where I got lazy, and right here was s’posed to be a punch about the coaching in Madden Your battle on Wild n’ Out is like Holmzie’s battle wit’ that old dude Shit was dope, they were spazzin’ Moon said, “The dentist can’t get a gun out your mouth” Nope, but he can teach you to choke on the Cannon! I pay attention to current affairs You know what keep you current? A fair Every time I’ve seen you and Prep paired, it’s ‘cause you weren’t prepared Oversaturation’s killin’ your career, and that’s a big burden to bear You know, kinda like Winnie-the-Pooh on Sesame Street: Big Bird and the bear You sweat, like, 400 pounds out in Funkadelic (Facts - mu’fucker looked like patent leather, like the left foot of the Space Jams and shit) Look, you sweat 400 pounds out in Funkadelic, lost all your stamina You look like Snuggles the Bear, bitch: being soft’s in your character My drugs will flood your school, get to callin’ the janitor I got coke so white, it wants to talk to your manager I keep China on the plate: Yao Ming dishes He quoted Danja Zone’s “hardly could win” bar...that’s why I clown these bitches I been told you ‘bout your wife - where y’all found these bitches? Last event, I ain’t have a “gun so big” bar, but she asked me, “How big is it?” What a whore...why would she ask me that? Anyway, at the last draft event, I was in that bitch’s gums So before you get married, notice her stomach start to kick and bump Think of me when you get the birth certificate, and before the name’s written, son Remember that’s my baby, and it don’t got no name until I give it one! Andre 3000 Battles...what’s good, pimpin’? You meal-prep, I mill’ prep: we cook different Back on the Ultimate Rap League, huh? We ‘hood spittin’ So I brought a rhyme book like your dead grandparents: good writtens! (riddance) This the most dangerous stage in the world...and you ain’t ready for the beats If I wail on him, it’s gon’ break a levee at the beach Think Pinocchio, when he found a thread up in the sea ‘Cause I can still pull strings in the belly of the beast! The media love me and my city Blue razor- blue laser, rubber grip Catch me loadin’ the bitch, like Tomb Raider bufferin’ Hey, stop talking during the battle You guys wanna gossip? Do it later Do that gay shit when I’m not rappin’ Listen- ya little secret-tellin’ weirdos… Uh, what was I sayin’? Where was I at? (Tomb Raider! Razor!) Oh- blue laser, rubber grip! Catch me loadin’ the bitch, like Tomb Raider bufferin’ Wedding massacre, New York Times, the groom lay in front of it Big Daddy: when I get pissed, the newspaper cover it! I got this plate for a rack, and I’m ‘bout to go to Hooters for seconds If my people black, you gon’ need a doctor, King - Luthor’s a legend 50 straps in the U-Haul, pussy, I always move wit’ a weapon And if he act hype, a Beam make him fade: it’s super effective! I wonder why you are fuckin’ wit’ me Holmzie’s sittin’ there wit’ a- lookin’ like he got fuckin’ nut on his sleeve And you standin’ there tryin’ to make it work With all these fuckin’ sweat stains on your shirt Boop! Keep bangin’ I thought you’d look - you didn’t...good job [Round 2: Dre Dennis] Luthor cheatin’, and it’s not on Coretta You said I was molested, flat-out lyin’, whatever You make up shit to get a homi together Fat bitches takin’ pictures: you use bullshit angles to make a body look better And I never made a mistake when changin’ my weight ‘Cause Smack will say that I ate what was takin’ my plates Was starving, embracin’ the taste Now it’s great I’m in shape ‘Cause I can finally fit this fuckin’ .38 on my waist! Dangerous place! Let go of cases like bargaining deals Like Jax, I’m Black and I’m armed wit’ the steel He in his car, I’mma peel While he drivin’, start sparkin’ the mill’ You’ll get everything when you pass - you’ll get it all in your wheel (will) For real! Like Dre Dennis when the hammers’ll burst ‘Cause nigga, losin’ to these Cannons will hurt I’ll blam him at first The nigga on your fam’ gettin’ murked They’ll get the TECs (text) if mine are (minor) into Lexx like a Amber Alert! This cracker happy I emptied the gat Is that right? Like a trade on Draft Night, I’ll be switchin’ the caps Give him that, or use the blade and have it slashin’ his flesh Like Frankenstein, the metal jammed in his neck A lil’ machete gon’ stab him, then rest Just a minute, though “Hypnotize” video, ‘cause somethin’ big (B.I.G.) goin’ back into (in a) Lex(x)! I’m grabbin’ the TECs and ride to your bitch, I’m sprayin’ hot shit Used the .4, but only two caught her (quarter) like games in college Nigga, my state is wildin’ I don’t need a reason If the nigga traded, Jersey flamin’ for nothin’: Isaiah Thomas! Why they bring they guns? They worthless No contest - if they bang, I’ll lift the .9 like the dunk ain’t perfect Burst it, I’ll wreck shit, he bled when the blikker spray When I show him this, Lexx sit (dyslexic) - he was red (read) in a different way! I’m lovin’ the pistol play Out the whip, I’mma grab heat Yvette in the drive-thru: the rubber grip in the backseat Find out where this cat stay down Jody in front of Pete crib: I’ll Snoop wit’ the window halfway down! So fuck ya set, like I hear he got no cable ‘Cel won’t help you, like Siri not enabled You fear these Glocks I’ll shoot you in your city, shots is fatal The iron got you boxed in your element like the Periodic Table! Bastard, these pops’ll raise you The toy isn’t loud Got a couple that’s fuckin’ silent - won’t hear noise from the pound Fuckin’ silent? No noise from the pound? Exploitin’ this clown The niggas you by weak, but they ain’t avoidin’ this round Nothin’ left in the deuce, I’ll grab my shorty weapon and shoot So I’m squeezin’ my bitch arm like domestic abuse! Catchin’ this dude whippin’ in his new car, my wheel rock ya Tried to kick me wit’ his foot, I drill-stomped it Nigga tried to run wit’ one leg...for real, chopped it Headshot like cougars and MILFs: still got it! The TEC and the Glock Nah, you’ll get a wet back from the 12 like a Mexican cop Shootin’ wild, then run away like I’m Chef wit’ the shot Weapon’ll pop, his bitch stomach, then her death comin’ - watch Break a rib and (ribbon) off her (offer), Lexx, like it’s fresh off the lot! We all victims That’s speakin’ my language when y’all spittin’ Either I’m gon’ die or Lexx (dialects) gon’ see that I talk different Listen, so go and joke ‘bout Nick Cannon and shit How many PGs I got, how many battles I did Laugh about my weight loss and my marriage and shit ‘Cause when the jokes stop, you still gotta rap in this bitch! Bitch! [Round 3: Lexx Luthor] Aye! It’s Team Homi - shout out to Rum Nitty Everybody shut the fuck up and fuck wit’ me! We ain’t gonna split that money, but either way, he gettin’ a buck-fifty! It’s almost half - yeah, round it off We gon’ round it up You partnered wit’ Prep for views That was a amateur surprise There’s, like, ten people in Loud Boys - you couldn’t grab ‘em up to ride? If I was jumpin’ somebody, I’m taggin’ in my guy [Xcel] Yeah, nigga - a new challenger arrived! God’s back! Get holy shoulder blades if they’re spittin’ See, I’ll split y’all both the same: now there’s symmetry Your blood leak, I watch y’all plasma spill Y’all share chemistry I’ll make your heart go out to him like, “Here...sympathy.” Nigga, I set precendence wit’ headshots I use Kennedy cloth on him I’d nail Black - Lexx hit me to goth on him Channel in, and I bet that signal get lost on him Unpaid cable bill: (*smack*) X finna tee (Xfinity) off on him! Listen…YOU the biggest culture vulture in here! That shit got me ready to cuss [Lexx Luthor] You battled, like, 40 people in this room, and they didn’t get any buzz [Xcel] How many niggas paid to get in the Trap, bro? You got plenty of bucks [Lexx Luthor + Xcel] You used all that money to pay for your wedding...and he ain’t invite any of us! You ain’t invite any of us! [Lexx Luthor] Dick-fuckin’-head! Dickhead… I said, I got your bitch in her Trunks like Vegeta’s her pops With the point of a finger, I’ll freeze-a (Frieza) your block Who cares, y’know? URL, King of the Dot Either way, I’m whippin’ these corns: bitch, I’m cream of the crop! Any time you see me, I’m keepin’ a Glock I had it for 18 years, so it’s legal to cop Let’s go to IKEA, get a couple trees and a cot And put the whole shit together without readin’ the box I’m a genius...a fuckin’ genius… I listen to whales to go to bed, that got me snoozin’ properly I literally sleep wit’ the fishes like Luca Brasi [Xcel] Ayo, a whale is not a fish, bro Use the shotty [Lexx Luthor] Nah, I watch Naruto - I’mma Uz’ him, ahki (Uzumaki)! When I get down, I kill a cam’: I love Purple Haze You’d get killed by pepper spray - your favorite rapper’s Murder Mace (Mase) I could do what you and DNA do, and make punches about the current days You know, “I’ll fuck your grandma Irma ‘til you have to get her a cane (Hurricane)” I ain’t a gangsta? I know a thing or two Pep vs. Kid Deph: my whole team got a Sig (cig’) for you! After this, let’s get high! My weed is the best Save my number as “Zorro” in your phone - we can take a Z to the chest! Yeah, ask your bitch, she know how my clout taste She calls me her drill sergeant, ‘cause I’m all about face I’ve actually been freestyling for, like, the past 12 bars They haven’t called time on me I’ve been done for a long time - time! [Round 3: Dre Dennis] I said...fuck Team Homi Got the guns, and I’mma spray Xcel hopped in, you gon’ run when I’mma spray But when they break up, I’m gettin’ the X (ex) bitch ‘cause that’s the one that got away! [Xcel] I said that [Lexx Luthor] That was trash! (*cracks up laughing*) [Dre Dennis] You finally got invited to the party He repped WeGoHard to get this shot, this nigga sorry His team kinda played a part, see? Chris Tucker in Dead Presidents, ‘cause you got on SMACK from a Homi and a Army Lost to Bedaffi, wasn’t bred (bread) for the Green I’ll get his crew torn (crouton) POW! Pull it out from the couch: it’s like a futon Put a small cap in his dome - I’m on what you (Jew) on Grip on the back of his head like I’m holdin’ a newborn! Enjoy sparkin’ Buzz and Woody: the toys talkin’ Luthor tryna stop these niggas from bustin’ (bussin’) See what this boy caught in (boycottin’)!? Boys offerin’ a rack to clap him - that’s good I’ll let these go for half-price like food stamps in the ‘hood! You blowin’ smoke sayin’ the Loud not strong Cal’ lit (Khaled), movin’ crazy like the “Wild Thoughts” song I’ll cut you if that stupid smile not gone This baby gettin’ stuck in the back of Lex(x) like the child lock on! Cal’ drawn, leave everybody exposed - it’s like a nudist beach Give you a round, trip for nothin’: this nigga flew in cheap Shoot the piece, I’ll look for any reason just to use the heat Makin’ excuses to dump the ratchet like, “It’s not you, it’s me!” Shoot ya freak, swingin’ plastic like Little League bats If she trip, then she clapped That bitch will get the blazer on the ground: I’m bringin’ chivalry back! The Smith? Think Andre Young: you’ll get hits from the Wesson (West end) They on Andre Johnson, so this bitch get the TECs in (Texan) Rise the chopper, and shoot his jaw It sink, then it stretch him Like Obama, this black can’ went into Lexx chin (win an election) Tre nasty: get school lunch One-night stand: I don’t give two fucks Magazine at your door when them issues come Mill’ up in his grill, and it lit dude up I’ll let it ring ‘round his mouth like lil’ kids that lick they lips too much! You chump...you ain’t shootin’ dog: you ain’t no vet He on his Grizzly? Mike Conley ain’t never face no TECs (techs) Want the fade, though!? Bet Ace Hood - watch I’mma knock your face off for havin’ that fake role, Lexx (Rolex) No sweat! You say random shit, punch with one flow, and that’s quite true So it’s nothin’ for me to rap like you Like…”Fuck Dre Dennis and his 25th PG George of the Jungle: white boy just hit these trees” [Lexx Luthor] I would never say some shit like that [Dre Dennis] “I roll wit’ Swave Sevah and the clips he squeeze I got old players shootin’ like the BIG3 league!” [Lexx Luthor] I would say that [Dre Dennis] Because you’ve got white privilege - we don’t get that, chump This shit remind me of White Men Can’t Jump Sidney was doin’ crazy moves, he even flipped that once But the highlight of the movie was when Billy did that dunk, and he did that ONCE! We watched SMACK DVDs- [Lexx Luthor] I watched Digimon [Dre Dennis] Exactly! We watched SMACK DVDs and we related Y’all just studied Summer Madness and imitated! We grew up doin’ ciphers, every day inside the streets Would battle so much in the lunchroom, that we forgot to eat! Bangin’ the table, playin’ “Grindin’”, ‘cause we ain’t got a beat! It’s cool wit’ y’all that he copies that respect!? Well, not wit’ me All these white rappers stealin’ our format… Real Deal rap like he would be lost on tracks And we even got the police (Pulice) tryna chalk all Blacks Don’t wanna hear Joe until Power come on - facts! Glueazy here ‘cause Bigg K and Raw gone, scrap! And I’ll stop Lex(x) from movin’ like he caught four flats They thought pushin’ y’all was smart? They was wrong on that! [Pat] ’Cause I’m the only white guy that belongs on SMACK! (*Everyone in the venue goes absolutely bonkers over that last bar to wrap up the battle*)