The Suspender Man

[Intro] One moonlit night [Verse 1] One moonlit night in the bayou a silhouette The air was sweet and the fog was vi-o-let The gators were all drinking tea, in a dreamy pant-less glee I saw a suspendered man, a banjo holstered in his hands He had biggest red suspenders I ever did see, golly gee that's what I've seen He flicked the brim of his hat, and this is what he said to me "Mister robot I am a Suspender Man And dis banjo 'as shown me the promised land Now I'll play a song but in return, you put that shiny coin right 'ere in my urn And I play you something fine. My music's gonna blow your mind!" So I flicked my coin into his pot, I gotta admit it wasn't a lot Two cents and then his fingers wriggled He plucked those strings and belched a giggle He tapped his foot, howled like a hound Igniting up the unholy sound [Pre-Chorus] And I ain't never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never Never, never, never, never, never, heard anything so great [Chorus] Call the vendors Big Suspenders That's what everybody wants to wear They stretch to Nantucket Put them in a bucket And send them to the gnome trapped down the well (Tug 'em with thumbs is ideal) (While rollin' back on your heels) (Yeah) [Bridge] He played the two cent show [Verse 2] And just like that he stopped playing My jaw dropped to the floor He cracked his neck and smiled at me And said "Buddy, y'gotta pay for more!" But by then a crowd had swarmed the swamp And was tossin' coin in after coin So he cleared his throat, and his fingers writhed And everyone shouted for Suspender Guy [Chorus] Call the vendors Big Suspenders That's what grandma wants for her birthday They're bright red and awesome Even worn by possums Nobody wants their pants to fall down (Ma and Pappy want 'em too) (Even the ghost of Uncle Stu) (Yeah) [Bridge] He played the two cent show Fracture that banjo! [Banjo Solo] [Verse 3] All the children sing and dance Those banjo sounds instill a trance By 4 AM the press was hot Suspender Man on the front page spot Suspenders were in and spats were out The girls all suffered from fainting bouts The banjos flew off the shelves Sprouting wings with dreams Of being played by Suspender Man [Verse 4] But in the middle of February The fog turned a crimson red The Suspender Man disappeared Everyone was heels over head But we found his suspenders and that old banjo Sittin' right there on his log And though he's gone That's what he gets For selling his soul to the bog [Chorus] Big Suspenders Put them in a blender Three bat teeth and a blackened demon eye Bring it to a boil Release your mortal coil Out pops a belt to wear for you and me- Nobody wants their pants to fall down- You could wear a dress and then...you'd have no need (The alligators had it right) (Wearing pants it sure does bite) (Yeah) [Outro] He played the two cent show