Jizz In My Pants

[Verse 1: Andy Samberg] Lock eyes from across the room Down my drink while the rhythms boom Take your hand and skip the names No need here for the silly games Make our way through the smoke and crowd The club is the sky and I'm on your cloud Move in close as the lasers fly Our bodies touch and the angels cry Leave this place go back to yours Our lips first touch outside your doors A whole night what we've got in store Whisper in my ear that you want some more And I— [Chorus: Andy Samberg] Jizzed in my pants This really never happens, you can take my word I won't apologize, that's just absurd Mainly your fault from the way that you dance And now I jizz in my pants Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a slut Plus it's your fault, you were rubbing my butt I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus Now I'll go home and change [Verse 2: Jorma Taccone] I need a few things from the grocery Do things alone now mostly Left me heart broken, not lookin' for love Surprised in my eyes when I looked above The checkout counter and I saw a face My heart stood still, so did time and space Never felt that I could feel real again But the look in her eyes said "I need a friend" She turned to me, that's when she said it Looked me dead in the face, asked "Cash or credit?" And I— [Chorus: Jorma Taccone] Jizzed in my pants It's perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me But we're going to need a clean up on Aisle 3 And now I'm posed in an awkward stance because I jizzed in my pants To be fair, you were flirting a lot Plus the way you bag cans got me bothered and hot Please stop acting like you're not impressed One more thing, I'm gonna pay by check [Verse 3: Andy Samberg & Jorma Taccone] Last week I saw a film As I recall it was a horror film Walked outside into the rain Checked my phone and saw you rang and I jizzed in my pants Speeding down the street when the red lights flash Need to get away, need to make a dash A song comes on that reminds me of you and I jizz in my pants The next day my alarm goes off and I jizz in my pants Open my window and a breeze rolls in and I jizz in my pants When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense I jizzed in my pants I just ate a grape and I jizzed in my pants I went— Jizzed in my pants (Okay, seriously you guys, can we... okay?) [Bridge: Andy Samberg & Jorma Taccone] I jizz right in my pants everytime you're next to me And when we're holdin' hands, it's like having sex to me You say I'm premature, I just call it ecstasy I wear a rubber at all times, it's a necessity [Outro: Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone, both] 'Cause I jizz in my pants I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants Yes, I jizz in my pants, yes, I jizz in my pants Yes, I jizz in my pants I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants