The Main Squeeze - "Have a Cigar" (Pink Floyd)

[Intro, Spoken]: Chairman: Right, that is a triple word score for me... and a community chest for you! Player: I... I don't remember these rules... Chairman: Trust me, Scrabbopoly is the only way to play... oh! I won a beauty contest! Oop, just a minute! Dan Bull: If any other Youtuber wants to challenge me to a Scrabble match, they can make a video, and call me out, before I make a decision. So if you guys have a favorite Youtuber that you love watching, and would love to see gird the board with me, the Scrabbull, then let them know people, let them know. But not Jake Paul because Jake Paul is literally (fades off) [Verse 1]: Dan... It's... Admirable, you want to battle at Scrabble But are you after a challenge? Or do you just dabble? You may do fine against the rest of the rabble But to grapple my talent you best be grabbing your saddle If you tackle me! The grammatical cavalry! Alphabetical stampede, to trample my adversaries On a valiant steed that I papier-mached From all the villains I've slayed, and Oxford dictionary pages I'll tea bag you with my tile bag, anarchy! I top the tables every tabletop fantasy league Any letters on my rack for you would spell calamity Call me Elphabet, my skill's defying gravity I've got a filter to prevent Spam I guess you got through because you're cheese and ham So when I lay you out on the board Well, I guess you could call me an artisan Sure on YouTube, you might be the man But you've got a lot of beef for a vegan, Dan Go rap about Fortnite, appease your fans Or be spread too thin, like a teeny jam Go to war with the Chairman of the Board? Delusional! You see crappy letters? It's my score in numerals There's a reason there are seven tiles in funeral Hate to say it, Dan, playing Junior isn't usual How to get it through to you? I'll talk in terms of PUBG It's a 100 to 1 that you could touch me Thanks for the collab, I don't need your fans to buff me I've got a Q and I don't need U to succeed That's a lot of fans, man. The buzz is deserved But I've never seen anyone buy a T-Shirt...? I've got a swarm now, so I've got a bee herd And when I'm dissing you, I'm not afraid to use the P-word Pusillanimous, pathetic, purely pacifist Throws a punch precisely with the power of a platypus Smack you so hard it's like I crammed you in the Animus So then you'll understand that you're as crappy as your ancestors An Adder on a bird of prey's platter And in that situation, you're the snake, I'm the latter Pick any board game, I'll leave you in tatters No going overboard when I battle ship rappers On ERB you RP'd some dead Britons Mess with me, eventually, you'll end up dead with 'em Or at the very least temporarily bed-ridden Incidentally, NicePeter, my rhymes are well-written! You're just a chicken, stink of Pew-55y Hit me up, I'm chilling sipping Brut '55 wine Gonna rebuttal me douglby? What's your pipeline? Oh, you need to phone a friend? You want a lifeline? [Verse 2]: I've got a 9 to 5 and I can find time I do my videos myself in the night time Haven't slept a wink in months, I think it's high time To take a nap, but I'm always up for fight rhymes! I like to think we're mates, right? Play fight? Games Night, makin' like we're fighting in the daylight Farm a little drama, gotta get the clickbait hype Berate my rhymes but simultaneously parade my Face on your channel in the hopes your fanbase might Come over to mine, maybe drop a like, say "Hi!" But wait right there, Dan, Scrabble is a way of life Let a player get away, you'll never see that day arrive So come on Dan Bull, you think you're a handful? I'm settling Catan, you're in a jam with Screwball Scramble Happenstance that your battleplans were in anagrams Your name's an anagram for your skills: Bad Null This was a Risk, but guess who's Bold? I'm a Hungry Hippocrite, squeezing views out of insults Meet me on the board, no proper nouns involved I don't have your subs, but can pronounce "evolve" A spot of Pictionary, can you pass the trial? It's a pic depicting me the victor by a mile! I'll crush you with a flippin' dictionary and all the while I'll be writing your obituary in little wooden tiles... [Outro, spoken]: Chairman: Uh, where were we? Erm.. Oh! Roll for Initiative! Oh, you've hit a snake! In the kitchen!