Boy in a Band

[Round 1: Nick Lachey] Yo, when Ashley left Disney, things turned low-key Life ain't been "Suite" since she lost Zach and Cody And Vanessa Hudgens used to be like your big sis Now she replies to your texts with "new phone, who dis?" I'd say that you have a Hilary Duff-face But whenever you take pictures, you have Hilary duck-face Is it me, or was Glee like High School Musical a lot? They took your whole plot and Lea Michele took your spot [Round 1: Ashley Tisdale] God, that verse sucked, and now you hit a dead-end You were on Raising the Bar, and now you bartend You hosted Sing-Off, aired on NBC Whenever Nick was on it, though, it was "Sing-Off-Key" I'm producing TV behind the scenes, as a hustle You're still singing, looking like One Direction's drunk uncle Example of every reality TV cliché Can't get Spencer Pratt? Call Nick Lachey [Round 2: Nick Lachey] Girl, you try to sing and act like you're Demi Lovato But with a fraction of a reaction, so you're "Semi Lovato" You're big with the kids, and it makes sense why You're basically a Sketchers ad that's come to life After High School Musical, you tried to hold that buzz Had a song called "Crank It Up," I hope nobody does And you played Dorky Girl in Donnie Darko, right? Funny, that's also the role that you play in real life [Round 2: Ashley Tisdale] Hey, Nick Lachey, I'm not trying to be reckless But you're the human equivalent of a puka-shell necklace You were in a boy band, I can't remember the name It was something about weather and it had ten minutes of fame I was icon on Disney, I still get roles from it The only rolls you get now are starring on your stomach And listen, there's no way in hell you're beating me But don't worry, Nick, there's always other chicken in the sea [Round 3: Nick Lachey] You're a millennial poster child, a Twitter dingbat It sucks your best work is through filters on Snapchat "We're All in This Together," wasn't that the song? But when Zac got famous, he didn't bring you along We'll say Scary Movie 5 sucked 'cause of you But it made Scary Movie 4 look like Scary Movie 2 This battle's all mine, it's something you can't fix You used to live the Suite Life, now you're in a Motel 6 [Round 3: Ashley Tisdale] Jackson 5, NSYNC, and we move down the line Congrats, you're the tenth best boy band of all time You have Dancing with the Stars, and you got beat by your wife You've done every reality show and that's the last stop in life I'm juggling five projects, my life is stressful You're only busy making O-Town seem successful You're the Justin of your band, could have hoisted the cup But you failed, so I guess your "Timberlake" dried up